Saturday, March 9, 2013

Dear LIB readers: My skin crawls when he touches me

From a LIB reader
I need honest and constructive advice from my fellow LIBers. I have been married for a little over a year now. In the earlier years of our relationship, it seemed as though we shared similar values (still does sometimes) but must importantly, even though I loved him desperately, I knew he loved me even more. Barely a couple of months into our marriage, I fell pregnant. Though it was a fairly easy pregnancy compared to most other horrible experiences I've come across, I was left with zero sex drive. I'd always be quite fit and beautiful but the pregnancy made me feel permanently ill and unattractive and this affected my desire for sex. Despite this, I kept at it knowing fully well that there was another person with needs and desires to be met. Sex stopped being as frequent as before - but it was there.
Between then and now, my husband has become a serial cheat. Keeping late nights everyday with all sorts of women calling even when he finally gets home by 2am.

He is being mentally and emotionally abusive (never physically because he is too manipulative for that) . The worst part of it is that as a woman you know when your husband is cheating. I see the proofs - phone conversations, captured nude screen shots of other women etc... And he keeps trying to make me feel like I'm crazy and paranoid. It has gotten to the stage where I feel so rubbed and cheated. I cringe when he touches me now and try to force a reaction when we are having sex. I simply can't shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal. And I now feel as though I'm being held prisoner because in my heart I know I deserve better.

I've got 2 degrees from some of the best universities in the world. I have a job that most people could only dream of. I earn at least 3 times more than what he earns. And in the few months after the birth of my baby, I have returned to a size 6. Yet I still try to be the wife our mothers teach us to be. I know better hence I feel deeply cheated. Try as I may, this feeling has taken over my mind to the point where even the thought of being intimate with him feels like a betrayal to myself and fills me with disgust! At this point, I'm at the end of my ropes and I don't know what to do... Kindly advice... Thank you.

218 comments:

1 – 200 of 218   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Pls i advice u take it easy becuz of ur baby marriage is 4 beter 4 worst.hv patience ad also pray harder 4 a change

bitchplis said...

God will see u thru IJN. Pls I av a question for LIBers...ao come in nollywood movies som1 must hit u with a car b4 they help u,na so e dey happen for real life? Cos I wan go stand for road o

Anonymous said...

Omoooooooooooo. Look for sugar boy like me

Gist Naija said...

realy touching story. just continue to show him more love than you did before, pray to God and sometimes talk to him. never tink of divorce or revenge. Wish u d best.

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Complicated is the word for this! What I think you need to do first of all is try and ascertain if your man is still cheating or not, if he is then give him an ultimatum, if he has stopped then you would have to forgive him in your heart first before your body can become comfortable with him sexually.

Anonymous said...

Go to God in prayers, he wud turn the table around for you

Anonymous said...

Well we men can be stupid sometimes thinking through our genitals...but love conquers all things! Continue to love him & pray for him....he'll soon return back to his senses with remorse,loving the more that you can imagine!

Ijeoma O. said...

I don't see any reason y u should still be in that marriage, a pregnant woman is as vulnerable as a woman without a job so if ur husband can't support you at that time then I wonder what will happen if u ever loose ur job or a loved one. I'm pregnant too and I have zero sex drive, my husband understands its not intentional but d hormones. We have to give something away in return for a special gift, d thought of carrying our son soon surpasses any pleasure sex can give. Pregnancy isn't permanent, in as little as 4 to 6 weeks after d baby is born, most women get their sexy back. U need to be happy n healthy to take care of ur child. Stds n Aids are real.

Anonymous said...

Pray to God,not Libers!!! God will give you peace and rest.

Anonymous said...

Same way I feel. I and my husband know our marriage ended a long time ago. I'm still here because my lazy husband has vowed I will pay him alimony if I divorce him. All he does is sit at home, sleep and drink while I work my ass off here. I had to be placed on one month leave becasue my hands were shaking while performing surgery on a patient due to fatigue and stress. According to him, why should we pay a nanny when he can take care of the kids while I work. I'm leaving his sorry ass this year no matter the amount of money I have to pay him.

pascal said...

Cheating is spiritual ..is a spirit of lust and infidelity that is driving him to do what he is doing.. Believe me he still loves you.. If u want ur marriage to stand ..pray for him.. And I don't mean.. Five minutes lazy prayer..

Anonymous said...

My dear, your story is really a touching one… he is your husband, talk to him, tell him the reason for the zero sex drive on your part and let him know what he does out there with other ladies hurts you… moreover, there are std’s out there and if he comes across any, it will definitely get to you because he still makes love to you without protection of course… is well..

Anonymous said...

Im gonna say this.... No one deserves to be treated the way he treats you... Thats just wrong.. I would advise that you end things with him and move on...theres always a better guy out there... but from the other angle, Have you talked to God about this? If you still love your husband, then maybe you should table his matter before God! There is nothing he can not do! God is your strength.

PROUDLY NIGERIAN said...

My dear just try and keep loving him and pray over it. Also dont give up on him. I know it hard to feel cheated but then Think about the baby and your marriage. It will be well with you.

LOSE WEIGHT FAST NATURALLY WITH PROACTOL said...

My dear pray about it. it will be fine. God is in control.

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Dis one is serious, but if am a lady trust me not to live with a cheating man,unless I av a way of maintaining equality"as in keeping d scoreline 1:1

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

You should have known better, for you to have study in one of the best university, that tells me you study aboard. You push him out while you were pregnant. Pregnancy come with all sort. Mood swing etc. you did not communicate, how u were feeling during your pregnancy but your attitude spoke for you, and as a man he was thinking differently. May be because u earn more than him. Most relationships break down due to lack of communication. Never too late am sure he love as you said. Try to talk him through your feelings and how your felt during the pregnancy and now as a mum. Every marriage has its own up and down but communication is vital. You two are both expressing yourself with anger and this will lead to argument all the time. No two boss drive a car together. LorlahB

Anonymous said...

'Cheat on him'......with a younger dude........ You're welcome.
Send me an email donsupernova@yahoo.com.
..#Nova

Anonymous said...

Still have your husband by showing more love to him, tell him what u feel n what u see in him that disgusts u. U can only be a prisoner when u deprive ur self of sharing ur feelings with ur man, even when its abt hatred of wat he does to u. God bless ur marriage

GET BEAUTIFUL SKIN WITH CLEAR SKIN MAX said...

Sometimes it really hard to get over infidelity when our partner cheats on us. But praying praying for the grace of God will give you peace of mind. Dnt give up on your marriage and continue to love him more.

AJETUNMOBI SHERIF said...

Some Nigerian men are shit..God will see you through

http://ajetun.blogspot.com/2013/03/2face-idibia-and-annie-receives-new.html

Anonymous said...

Madam,sit him down n give him an ultimatum,if he doesn't stop cheating u wud walk away,n not jus saying he'll stop.mke him show evidence of fidelity n attempt @making d relationship work!its imp

jbaby said...

Ask God to bring peace in ur life and marriage.

START A MINI IMPORTATION BUSINESS WITH N10,000 said...

My dear sister, pray for him and pray for God to give to peace and the grace to forgive and forget.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is for better for worse. Try as much as posible to take whatever he does out of your mind. Be your normal self and try to chk urself too. Also ask him what you need to do to make him happy.He is not a mad man he would listen to u. DOn't chk his fone for anyth agn cos if u do, u will continue to hurt urself.I wish u Happiness. Above all be fervent in prayer.

PO$$H said...

This is very complicated.u have to pray for the spirit of forgiveness cos dts d only way u can move forward. Talk to him abt his actions n make him see reasons to stop.as long as dt love was dere a short yl ago it ll surely come bac if u try. If u forgive him in ur heart den ur body can also forgive him. All d best

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady ....talk to your husband...if he refuses to listen ...I suggest you take care of yourself, become that confident woman again (if you want you can leave)....but be strong .....Emotional and mental abuse is possibly the worst kind of abuse....I have been there.....sometimes if you keep showing these Kind of men love ..they take you for granted and keep maltreating you cos they see you as being weak.......just do you dear , live your life...if you want sef date other men (nt necessarily sleep with them)....let me see if he wont come back to his senses..sorry to say your Husband is an ungrateful and insecure man....that wants to carry out his insecurities on you by abusing you....been there....just be strong

Emperor Scoon said...

Try to talk to him
Conversation is very important in any relationship
Tell him how you feel and try to work on your relationship

Anonymous said...

What nonsense! It is this 'be patient, stay and pray more (4 a change) that keeps women enslaved in toxic relationships, and encourages Men to do whatever they want, because there are NO repercussions. Stop talking shit! She should carry her degrees and her child, and leave this loser to go and infect some other hapless female with HIV, which is what he'll do to her if she stays. Mtcheeeeuw!

Anonymous said...

Immoral mess!

ruth abidoye said...

My dear dont be decieved. Your man loves you, men are prone to temptation and it takes God's grace for them to stand. Tell him what you notice, and even his expression will tell you whats @ stake. He may not even want to disturb you because of ur pregnancy, dont feel dat way as it may affect ur marriage negatively. Dont give space for the devil in ur marriage.

Anonymous said...

If you lost your sex drive after a baby and ur husband starts cheating on you afterwards,then I think its obvious what you need do,seek medical/ psychological help as fast as you can,cos its not normal or commonplace for that to happen in women.

You might think you still keep at it to please him,but blv me,men know the difference and feel the difference.
Don't tink of leaving your husband now,cos the next man will cheat on you again and again with a zero sex drive in the relationship, your size 6 figure and mouth watering salary notwithstanding.good luck!

Anonymous said...

If he is cheating and not treating u right.leave his sorry ass. U av d rest of ur life to make urself happy.

Anonymous said...

1) please stop checking his fone....it's tempting to do bt also it will hurt u..
2) his ur hubby ad it's nt more dan 4yrs in d marriage ad u knw ur in naija.der mentality wil b u r lazy ad unable to keep a home wen u were married so leaving the marriage is out of option here...
3) I'l advise u talk to him so dat he knows dat u knw wats his doing....ad see if he changes,ad most of all BE PRAYERFUL..

cynthia Ezekwu said...

thing is he is cheating..but here communication and prayer is the key you guys need to really talk and voice out your problems to each other preferably in couples therapy...not pastor oh m talking seeing a licensed psychologist...then u will understand what he wants and he will get how you feel..
visit nursebugz.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

LIB readers na wa 4 una ohhh,this woman has a medical condition and you are all here telling her to cheat or talk to her husband,etc...
Tell her the truth pls,go see a gynae and find out the cause and cure of the loss of ur sex drive after childbirth,I've heard of such a condition before so I'm sure you'll find medical help.
You said it yourself your husband loved you even more than you loved him b4 wedding,blv me,a little over a year is too short for a man dat loved you that much to fall out of love with you.
He isn't feeling what he used to feel in bed in the past with you anymore,and its as a result of ur zero sex drive dat came after childbirth,even doh u still do it to make him happy,it can never feel the same,trust me,go seek help!

Gozzy said...

Marriage comes wit its ups and downs.It's nt always "sugar in d morning,sugar in d evening".So al advise u firstly,to tk it 2 God in prayer.again,communicatn is vital.try trashing it out wit him,u ll need patience 2 do dis.eventually,i tink tinz will fall in2 place.all d best....

Anonymous said...

This is marriage hell. Get out now. In 10 years you'll wish you had. Anyone telling you about praying harder and loving him more, is delusional. THIS ignorant mentality is why Nigeria has so many female AIDS victims. And why women are so disempowered. This is a 3rd world country, but seeing as your parents saw fir to educate you to the level where you could get a great job, You MUST give yourself the chance to reach your full potential, not only academically, but personally.
Don't use ignorant fellow Nigerians as your measuring stick, look at strong, successful and happy international role models and strive for better. End of.

Cherie said...

I am pregnant with my third child and I also have zero sex drive which gets a bit better towards the end of my 2nd trimester. My husband totally understands my feelings because we were able to read a lot of books on pregnancy and hormonal changes even before my first pregnancy. I don't see why your husband could not be patient with you. Did you make him understand that certain % of women go through this phase during pregnancy? I think this is a very important thing to do to set things right from the beginning. You need to sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him, pray, pray and pray, although its not easy, ask God to help you to forgive your husband and also try to go for councelling if possible. For the love of your child and your marriage leaving your matrimonal home should not be an option. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

People read 3 paragraphs of a situation that's lasted years and presume to have a shred of understanding on the myriad of things that will drive a couple apart under the pressures of pregnancy and all the hurt these two people have inflicted on themselves becos of it... Na wa oh.
Sister, do what your heart feels it must, but ask yourself this, are you blameless? Did you push him away in any way? Instead of focusing on your degrees and higher earning job, focus on what bonded the two of you and try to find a way back to that. Trust me, forget all the sensational stories, a guy will respond to true unadulterated love with all his soul. Its all about how different men respond to negative feedback from women.

Anonymous said...

Na wa.... Pple already taking sides here.... Asking her to leave and all.... If you read her story well, you'll notice the problem started when she got pregnant.... - they stopped communicating verbally and things turned out for the worse.... Two wrongs will never make a right... These are two individuals bound by marriage but deeply hurting...
My dear the memory of good days shld be fresh in your head.... Give it one last try , av a heart to heart talk about things since your pregnancy.... You both might end up seeing what went wrong and you are happy again in your marriage . You can still save this... Take d first step

firstlady said...

Go n watch dis movie titled MR n Mrs u ll learn 4rm it

Anonymous said...

Look at it this way,before pregnancy and the loss of your sex drive after child birth,I'm sure you guys had a good sex life,most of which either of you initiates.
Now that you do it just to please him,I'm very sure you can't initiate anything,you just respond when he does, that alone is enough to drive a man into d arms of other women,cos ure not in charge of ur sexuality anymore and he himself will feel u don't find him attractive anymore while other women out there do!
So honestly,you need to bring the spark into ur sexual life with ur husband back first,by seeking medicval help for your condition,once that's out of the way,trust me,d cheating will stop,cos u also said itr urself that he loves you even more than you love him!gd luck

Abinibi said...

I dont understand how no one is pointing out that this is a basically frigid woman here, talking about walking out of a marriage come the first real challenge to it. people take themselves too seriously. Get medical help for your loss of libido jare and repair your sick marriage. "2 degrees and mouthwatering salary" small wonder your husband has to run away to other women. Grow Up!!

Anonymous said...

You have been able to explain how you feel and we understand. Now it is time for you to sit down with your husband and talk to him ,let him understand how you feel and how it is affecting your feelings and desire for him. Communication is very vital in a relationship,infact it is the life-blood of a relationship. Being cheated on by your man is the worst thing that can happen to a woman and can make you hate that man for hurting you so much. If u weren't married,I would say you should leave that relationship,but this is marriage and it really isn't just that simple. You have to think about your child here too. So dearie,talk to your husband and let him know what u felt during your pregnancy,how you are feeling now and if he truly still does love you,he will most likely want to change tins around. If he dsnt,then its upto you to decide if you can still live with him and love him. There is no point being in a relationship that doesn't make you happy. Hell no! Naomi.

Anonymous said...

Leave him for a while,Let him know how it feels to miss u,to not have his family,and be in the hands of these wayward girls he sleeps with.Enjoy your life,Provide for ur son.U don't want a husband dat lies,You want a repentant husband.He will come back a better man.For relationship advise,Get d book :Act like a lady but think like a man.

Anonymous said...

Hmm....my advice is for you to neglect his doings for now. He will probably come to his senses sooner or later.

You deserve better, as you said, but think about this, you already got a little darling to think of. Think more of your baby and neglect the idiot of a husband you have. My gut feeling is that he will come back to become the man you saw in him before you married him. ( I am a married man, and I know how some men like me behave initially after marriage. Plus, I have had some friends who behaved like this.)

Luckily, you dont depend on him financially. But another important thing is that you have to watch out for STI/STD. Talk to him seriously about the risk of that - if he wants to cheat, let him. But he should not bring back calamity to you and your baby.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

Wow,dats funny o!am pregnant n am as horny as hell!lol,guess pple av different bodies!my boo is aving a field day during dis pregnancy,infact he's bin sayin he can't wait 2get me preggy again!bt 4dis woman's hubby av said it already,sit his unfaithful ass down n give him an ultimatum

bitchplis said...

@donsupernova,oloriburuku somebody.

Anonymous said...

Its betta,pls!

Damochedxb said...

Woman, if you still love your husband and want your young marriage to work, talk to your man. Bare it all out, Communication is the solution, talk to your God and talk to your man. If his cheating and wayward behaviour continues, call an Elderly someone in his Family ,let them know u are fed up and about to walk.. They will call him to order. All these talk is meaningless if your mind is made up to leave him...

Derick Hosagie said...

Leave him n follow me I'll take care of the kid also!

Damochedxb said...

Wonder why i used to think Pregnant women had higher sex drives and always felt horny. 9 months is a long time to keep up with a low sexual appetite wife... Not an excuse to cheat tho, what am i even saying, some of us dont need an excuse to cheat, its in us...

becky naka said...

@bitchplis no go stand make motor no jam u ooo u no go see shishi, de wan we jam me na only 6k e dash me.

ANYA IKENGA said...

Are u even sure the man gives a hoot? Leave if u have to. And for those asking u to see a pastor, Okotie is also a pastor. U two beta sit down and talk and don't think that because u earn more makes u a super wife. 99percent of men earn more where marriage works. The man is acting beacuse ur behavior has given him a complex and he tries to cover that defeciency. I can smell this attitude from ur write up. Didn't u marry him for who he was?

Anonymous said...

My advice to u is to pray and pray fervently to God to intervene in your marriage nd try to love him more,also you need to involve a 3rd party like your pastor,a marriage counsellor.I pray God to help you.

Anonymous said...

Shut up jooor! I'm sureyou are not married. Some men can push you to have a sugar boy. Imagine you being disvirgined by your husband and all you get is lies and cheat. Why won't you do thesame

Anonymous said...

Dis is a storm u'll definately pass....God is probably jst testin u.b steadfast in prayer,rmemba dat wen u leave him,u r commitin adultery...prayer is d key dear.b patient dear,God knws bst.I no its nt easy nd I cannot say I undastnd wat u r goin thrugh,lik sum pple hav said,communication is vry paramount in any rlationship esp marriage.also learn 2 tell him hw u feel.u r in ma prayers.it is well.Lilybabe

Anonymous said...

Tbh.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Leave the bastard. Women should start demanding better treatment from their partners.

Anonymous said...

Dear, Mrs distraught, so you have two degrees from some of the best Universities in the world, and yet you can't do a simple google search to determine the cause of post-natal depression, low sex drive and their various solutions. You can also talk to your doctor or midwife you know? Whilst i DO NOT condone infidelity and abuse (physical, mental or emotional), i believe that we should all do what we can to ensure that our spouse, has no reason to stray, if he/she strays regardless, then you'll be certain you simply married a Dog/Bitch. If you're a Christian, i'd advice you to see a marriage counsellor. Goodluck!

ify said...

Bonario u just made me like u...like seriously I don't understand all dis BS of pray to God and stay with d man.sweety abeg move on with ur life.emotional abuse is d worst kind der is.I kno its imp to talk to God and all dat but if u make d mistake of marrying someone God didn't destin as urs and its nt workin,pls leave...am eight months pregnant and sex used to irritate me during d first trimester and my husband understood.we agreed to do more bjs and less sex.but now,I can't even get enuf.last week I had to go d poor guy's office and we did it ryt der on his table.wen two piple really love and understand eachother,somehow thins fall into place.sweety am in love with a good man and its d best thin in d world.u too can find one if u leave.

Anonymous said...

WoooW!!! I must say this is a tough one.. But one question u shud ask urself is dis.."Do I still want this marriage".. U have to decided if u want be in d marriage... 2ndly if u decide to stay u must be prepared to pray ur MARRIAGE to life... It will be one heck of a period cos there are times u will pray and it wud seem lyk nothing is happening dats wen faith comes in.. KEEP believing dat he will Change.. U can seek d support of ur TRUE friends to join u in VERY INTENSIVE prayers and Be patient. U will also ask for God to renew ur love for him. .. This is one hard road if u decide to take.. The other choice is if u decide to leave which is pretty easy.. U don't have to put up with this and even d bible permits divorce on this ground.. But I will suggest u don't leave unless u have gone out of ur way to try... Pls linda post my comment. if feel it will be helpful

Anonymous said...

Stop posting this....this will make some people to hate marriage...

fatima said...

Dats really not an excuse 4 his silly ass to cheat on u wit DIFFERENT girls not to talk abt d nude pics... He was cheating on u b4 u got married, u jes dint realise it then. Men cheat same way dogs lick deir balls, its part of deir Biology. Its jes so unfortunate.Love ursef more, d question is,Do u stil luv him? ask ursef, Do I stil want 2 patch tins up wit him ?Is d juice worth d squeeze? Only u know dis man, u hav bin wit him, u know him more dan we do. Only u can advice ursef. We can only advice frm a distance. Jes tink abt wat wil make u hapi cos honey, life is way too short to be miserable, to let d bitter experience change how awesome u are. May God help u

Anonymous said...

Better pack your load waka before you add HIV to your degree

Frances said...

There's no advice one can give u right now that would be right or the best. U should go 2 God on your knees and ask him what 2 do. So long as there's no physical abuse, u should fight 4 ur marriage.not just bcos of u buh bcos of ur little child. Children are always d ones that suffer the pains of broken marriages. So don't put ur innocent Lad thru that stress. God wd help u.

Jumoke SB said...

Its good to pray esp in marraiges now! Sometimes marraige redefines d friendship u guys started with. With the kind of treatment u r getting from ur man and ur present reactions and feelings, give him notice! State ur grieviances to him and let him have a timeline! Sometimes u have to force some issues before u can come to a conclusion! He is acting like a child and not a man at all! Its a known fact that most woman experince diminished sex drive. He's a fool for ignoring you in ur time of need!

Jumoke SB said...

Gbam!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am going through the same thingi just had a baby an my marriage is not even upto a year and my husband is already cheating on me with different girls.I try to b a good wife and our sex life is great (even when I was pregnant)he provides all my needs and wants and is loving and fun only he is a cronic womanizer I hurt so bad inside and he alwas promices to stop but he dosent. I really don't knw wot to do.

Anonymous said...

Best advice..! Madam, listen to this wonderful female being. And a thoughtful advice, make sure the three elements of marriage are still present in your marriage. I mean, You (your love for ur husband), him (his love towards you) and God. And PRAY!


Killer_Keed!

Jumoke SB said...

My dear, loss of sex drive before and after childbirth is normal! Men, pls read up so you'll understand what a woman goes thru during pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

My dear, I too am a doctor who was engaged to a never-do-well. Broke-ass guy who wasn't interested in working or finding a job. Yet he owned all the designer perfumes in the world. Always dropping names of who he knew and who his parents knew. When, I saw he was slowly getting verbally abusive and dropping hints on how I should contribute financially, I wore my Nike shoes o. Lol. Called off the engagement. Marriage should be enjoyed and not endured. Dear, leave that guy!

CHUKWU ONYEKACHI HUMPHREY said...

my wife is also pregnant.. now she demands more sex than before... is neccessary to make her vegina expand.. 4 eassy delivery... i tink ur problem is spiritual..and divorce is not the answer... if ur marraige is important to u.. u will fight for it both spiritually through prayer and physically through patient and undastanding... if ur bored and want to laff pls enter this website www.hangout-chillo.com just stunbled into it

Anonymous said...

Anon 11.45. Am sure u dnt knw wat marriage is.she shld leav d house cause husband is cheating?lik d one she meets latr wil be beta? U are totaly wrong.my dear dnt be a loser stay in marriage n pray.evrytn is stage by stage n is temporary.frgiv him n frgiv urself.kip frgivn him n pray fr him.n let him no u knw everythn.smethin wil happen.show him more lov nw.more lov.dere wil be changes.he is human.dere is notn impossible fr God.is case is moimoi.u guys hv convenant.so talk 2 baba God dear.am a single girl n i knw d kind of prayrs married women dat.dt is affectn those girls dt follws married men..omo

Anonymous said...

Hello young lady, I am a man and I really think I feel your hurt and pain. U have been patient all this while and I believe u will reap d reward of a good wife soon. Do not give up and stay prayerful. Try to look at ur kids and extend the love to their father. Soon that man will realize himself and return back to d man u dated and got married to. May God grant u d Grace and patience to pull through!

Anonymous said...

Pls dear stand for road and make sure its ibadan express way while a dangote truck is ahead driven by an illiterate Mallam after taking his daily dose of weed

Anonymous said...

Nah ur response I like most#alady#

Anonymous said...

Abinibi or whatever u call urslef. I am amazed at ur senseless comment here. I wonder where u hale from or if u are married or ever will be. May u not have dis issues.

Warri Girl said...

You are worth more than that piece of shit u are with. My advise to you is leave his ass, get back into shape and look hot as ever. In the process, make sure you steal as much as you can from him, at least u carried his baby for 9 months and in the process cheated on you

Anonymous said...

Babes, tell him exactly how you feel. Air his dirty laundry so he will know that you know and stop trying to make your feel like you are crazy. You sound like a strong woman because so far you know but you haven't done anything irrational. Please think every action you hope to take long and hard before you actually do. Leaving him should be your last result but it sure is an option. Most men don't play by the rules why should you be expected to? Sounds like you are in a good place holding down a job and earning good to keep you going. We women are stronger than we think you know. You can live and learn to love again without him. Whatever your choice @ the end of the day just know you are strong enough to move on.

Austin Uche said...

wow ! ! Marriage of one year ! !? Two @ least.... SMH
My dear, i feel ur pain, nope, i dnt feel ur pain.. Buh i can imagine wah ur goin thru.... I pray all these passes o.. E no easy. May God see u thru dis IJN..amen.
Anyways, i keep saying it, and i will keep saying it... We the unmarried ladies and gents nid to start putting our eye down and dnt be carried away wiv d pleasures dah cum wiv a relatiinship.. Love dat is eventually mistreated or maltreated will spoil if not die.. We rilly nid to stop taking for granted those little signs, no matter how little they are... Cos they will destroy us @ d long run.. Even if u wanna enjoy ur relationship, @ least enjoy wiv sense and opened eyes. Read d signs, dnt overlook em, watch and pray.. Be vigilant.. So dat, after 30, 50, 70yrs of marriage, u will still feel d same love u felt wen twas jes a mnth old.... Nuff said

Anonymous said...

You said it all,you deserve better!

uche said...

I really think you should approach him and tell him how you feel emotionally cuz it will hurt even more if your pretending cuz remember ur married to him ....if things don't change. #Its a free world..... and am available lol @Datkiduche #twitter

Anonymous said...

Please stay in there, and continue praying. Check if there are some things you were doing before, that you stopped doing(things that turn him on)and start doing it. Get a copy of Power of a praying wife.

zeggy said...

Best comment!!!

Anonymous said...

LMAO!som1 is having a good saturday!I noticed it too!even in the movies that make it to the cinema.I hope they get to try sth else sooner

Eze Chukwumereze said...

Discuss with him how you feel, but what I fear for is the STD risk because you don't deserve that. We men can be dickheads at times, I pray I don't fall into this category.So on this note, I won't condemn this man. There are men out there praying for good wives like you, yet someone else is abusing it. Atleast you have your son, who should be a focus to you now, train him in a way he wont go like his dad.

Anonymous said...

My advice to you:

1. Respect yourself. Take decisions that empower you and protect your baby. Self love and protection of your baby is important, given the mental and emotional abuse you are experiencing.
2. Have a serious talk and tell him you're leaving unless he is prepared to change his ways
3. Stop sleeping with him. You cannot afford to contract STDs. If you don't value yourself and your life, value your baby's life please.
4. If hubby sees reason and is prepared to change, both of you should educate yourselves on how to make love and get satisfaction without penetration when you are pregnant. Books and doctor's advice will help with this. You may also need couples' therapy for smooth sailing. Good luck!

xlavenue said...

I have a friend (guy) facing similar predicament. Things men do for women, they dont seem to understand. Before this guy got married he had a minimum of 5 to 6 ladies he was dating at any time. He kept telling me that when he gets married he prays to God he wants to have only his wife and stick to her. Now 3 yrs into his marriage his wife (knowing he loves her more than she loves him) treats him anyhow, denies him sex, and u know forms for him. He beared this for over a year. The other day i saw this guy at a bar late one night with one damsel. I was so suprised and called him aside asking him is he out of his mind, whats goin on? #@×=÷$$
Bottom line and advice for our ladies, simply becouse u feel ur man loves u more than u love him is not any reason for u to take advantage of. No Man or Woman is perfect. In this country i've seen some CRAZY girls of even 18yrs and the things they are capable of doin to Couples that have bin married for years. Would have love to talk more but cant. Pray to ur God, show ur man love, see a doctor or an elderly person(lady) that has bin married for yrs and seek advice and give him ur body and make passionate love to him. All divorce affects the children at the end.
http://xlavenue.blogspot.com/

Olumide said...

Access your brain properly and do whatever pleases you.

Olumide said...

Access your brain properly and do whatever pleases you.

chiboy chuks said...

Woman u fuckn caused all these happening to u ryt nw. In a rltnship/marriage u are meant to be opened to ur partner. When you felt like u weren't good enuff for him; You were suppose to come out plain to let him know & thru that he'd be plain to you to give you solutions on how to tackle it! Probably taking u to the gym house to keep urself fit.

You did this to yourself... Yo caused it all! & I'm nt blaming ur hubby for this. cos he found out you weren't giving him the intimate understanding & thought u've found another better partner out there who probably is richer than him & decided to source out for babes who fancy him more & are ready to give their all to him!

#BearYourFuckingCross!

Anonymous said...

Ur marriage don Wowo... lol

Anonymous said...

My dear, it is not perculiar with u in dis world of ours, there are others in d same problem with u.I was once in d same situation dat I was pregnant and my hubby was cheating and got another lady pregnant but cos of my fervant prayers for him God always reveal all his deals to me in one way or d other. I tried comfronting hiM twice but turned out for d worse. My dear, I kept praying and my God caursed d lady with fibroid and d pregnancy washed off wit serious complications she almost died. Dat did not stop my hubby from cheating with other girls. Today d story is diffrent as I became confident of myself and ignored all his deals. I spoke with him several times at nigth with quotes from d bible. I stood by him in all troubles and I conquered at last. Am now xpectin.the third baby with my hubby fully by me. Am not afriad of anything and I now trust hime. Listen do not pay attention to those dat want u to leave ur home. The home is yours don't destory it cos u are a woman and women are d home builders. Try and feel him again as your husdand it is no medical problem it is u. I did it and I know u can do it. Just keep praying.

Anonymous said...

i am seriously in need of advice?what do you do when a girl claims she loves you and any time something wrong happens, she says she inst interested again but she is a good girl.She is so hot tempered that any little thing upsets her , i used to think it was for only me but i have seen her doing it to some people, what do i do?should i leave her or not?

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you but the problem is he might also return with HIV or any other STD and/or children from those relationships!#Godhelpus

Anonymous said...

The answer is right in front of u. Switch places with ur child( lets say a girl), see ur child complaining to u as a Mother , what advise will u give her. Will u tell her to divorce the man or to pray to God and show him more love with the hope he will change?

Anonymous said...

Hi there...I'd like to say firstly that you have several options available to you. That being said, I'd advise you not to do what seems easiest or what gives you instant relief but to base ur decision on what legacy you want to pass on to ur kids,what you hold dear as ideals for marriage etc. Let's think alittle, if ur son in d future is confronted wit this v situatn, wat advise wld u give to ur daughter-inlaw(dats assuming u r satisfied u raised a good chap: which shd apply to ur hubby hence u married him),secondly; wld divorce or seperatn which cld lead to divorce b a gud example for ur kids as lessons to what true selfless love shd b abt..we both kw dat love conquers all..so whether he wld change later if talked to, prayed for and showered with a lot more love is nt d questn bcs all that wld work...altho wit a lot of heartache which wld require longsuffering on ur part, but it would if u r ready to put in d work. Hey! This is life and tins get thrown at us(in ur case infidelity;sum other peeps may face financial difficulty, health challenges, inlaw problems etc) but dat doesn't always mean we shd take detours on principal decisions we've taken abt our life. It is well..b courageous and take charge of ur home and kw dat a 3-fold cord of God, U and ur hubby, neva fails. That's wat family shd b abt. Rgds

MamaBaby said...

Now, i dont like the double standards that apply in our society. A few things on this blog within the Past week have left me feeling sorry for our generation. Men these days want to eat their cakes and have it. They want all the benefits of the westernised strong woman yet still expect her to cower down like their grandmothers did. 1st it was about the woman whose hubby is having a child by his ex. What would all y'all prayer hugging people have adviced him to do if thereverse had been the case? I bet everyaone would have sed "oh thsnk God u found out wat a bitch she is this early in the marriage. God saved u... Pls send ha away" ... But noooo! Naija men and women... He is a man, men cheat, pray about it.... Is itjust me or are y'all simply dense. Whats with this sadistic and masochistic atitude towardslife. Its like because most of the people are misersble they simply expect everyone else to fall into that category and if u break away, u suddenly become taboo.. Who told u guys that it is normal for a womAn to spend ha whole life praying and fasting on top her marriage? As a woman it is a man's duty to make u happy and treat u like a queen! Isssshhhhh! How many of our mothers have put up with our fathers for years on end despite children outside etc to the point where they hate the men and they just coexist.? Works pur perfectly for the man dont it? He'll have the young girls around town, flaunt the money she has endured to watch him build etc while she keeps suffering and praying till she prays to the grave. Come on women! Dont we deserve better? By the way, i am married with kids. But i have had to fight for every bit on 'myself' that i still have. And my man knows that though we are joined together as 1, he is an addition and with or without him, i can live a fulfilled life with my children. Think pls and train ur sons to be proper men! Afterall, most of those westerners who stay married and faithful for donkey years are atheist. They were just brought up to be good people. Something many Nigerians areincapable of understanding. All the while hiding under the cover of religon. Gos has giving us all it takes to reason and progress .

kinzo said...

Linda, I am weak as regards comments am reading here..Most of you asking this woman to quit the wedding..Re u guys married? Do u knw wat guts it takes to walk out of a wedlock..Am a married man...A bad boy before wedlock but I have an Oath with God not to cheat on my wife. Now this guy loves his wife and she knows it...she lost her sex drive when she was pregnant,her husband could be a sex freak..u know how cranky pregnant women can be...she probably does not discuss this feelings with him but gives an attitude, she has a good job and degrees better dan d dude..when u give attitudes, complex sets in..the guy doesn't understand d woman he married. There is no avenue to created to communicate. the guy probably drinks and have friends..he is frustrated, horny and at a bar drinking with friends who have babes by their side...do u think he won't help find a solution to his sexual desire..hell yes he would. he does it once, he is nailed on it 4 life until he gets help from you turning on that spark he saw before getting married to..Harvard and Mobil won't give u happiness...Family would..call your husband...cry, beg and talk to him..see a gyneo and let him be in all those process..above all go on ur knees and pray..God would bring him home...you took a vow of for better for worse..this is ur own side of the worse bargain..so fulfill it and overcome..God Bless you and keep your Family..you would yet experience that love and peace once again..Amen..#Deftone's CEO

MamaBaby said...

Now, i dont like the double standards that apply in our society. A few things on this blog within the Past week have left me feeling sorry for our generation. Men these days want to eat their cakes and have it. They want all the benefits of the westernised strong woman yet still expect her to cower down like their grandmothers did. 1st it was about the woman whose hubby is having a child by his ex. What would all y'all prayer hugging people have adviced him to do if thereverse had been the case? I bet everyaone would have sed "oh thsnk God u found out wat a bitch she is this early in the marriage. God saved u... Pls send ha away" ... But noooo! Naija men and women... He is a man, men cheat, pray about it.... Is itjust me or are y'all simply dense. Whats with this sadistic and masochistic atitude towardslife. Its like because most of the people are misersble they simply expect everyone else to fall into that category and if u break away, u suddenly become taboo.. Who told u guys that it is normal for a womAn to spend ha whole life praying and fasting on top her marriage? As a woman it is a man's duty to make u happy and treat u like a queen! Isssshhhhh! How many of our mothers have put up with our fathers for years on end despite children outside etc to the point where they hate the men and they just coexist.? Works pur perfectly for the man dont it? He'll have the young girls around town, flaunt the money she has endured to watch him build etc while she keeps suffering and praying till she prays to the grave. Come on women! Dont we deserve better? By the way, i am married with kids. But i have had to fight for every bit on 'myself' that i still have. And my man knows that though we are joined together as 1, he is an addition and with or without him, i can live a fulfilled life with my children. Think pls and train ur sons to be proper men! Afterall, most of those westerners who stay married and faithful for donkey years are atheist. They were just brought up to be good people. Something many Nigerians areincapable of understanding. All the while hiding under the cover of religon. Gos has giving us all it takes to reason and progress .

Anonymous said...

The only honest truth to this, is to seek for counselling both of you, and thereafter, embark on a short vacation, get an exotic place for this, where all ur handsets would be switched off to avoid distraction. it will enable both of u to talk deeply to each other and thereby, reconciling ur differences. Both of u have to be honest with this and also renew ur marital vows, which u must stick with eternally. Trust me gurrl, it works wonders. I do not advocte for divorce or seperation at this stage. Mistakes are bound to happen at times, the ability to realise this, and retrace ur steps makes everything magical. Both of you should make it work.
Chantella....xoxo

Anonymous said...

U see this world. I am facing a similar thing the only diffrence is that i am the guy. I love sex alot before i married my wife (i still do) now we r married but recently she gave me a male child since then she has bin denying me sex like hell. To tell u the truth my first couple of years with her i never had looked at another lady twice, but this her new development don dey make me look some girls with cock eye. Guy i've even discovered that younger girls (ie 18-23) have alot of energy on bed compared to older ones (27 up). Its not that i'm happy with myself, but i pretend i am very fulfilled with her even as she is denying me sex but. I just hope and pray that one day she'll just hold me and love me and not always waiting for me to make the first moveall the time, and when she starts that... guy!!! I will gladly drop all these slots and stick to her cos at the end its better to throw away money in ur house than give it to another girl whom u r sure might in turn give it to her little boyfriend that will pass it to another of his girl frienspd and so on and on...
Pls show him some love and care woman and look into his eyes, he will surely grow to become truthful and honest to u. Men as far as i am conserned only have space for ONE (1) WOMAN deep in their hearts.

Anonymous said...

My dear i think u should give ur husband more attention and try to satisfy him more sexually. My wife has since started to act strangely when it comes to sex issues and i am growing so tired talking to her about it. Last week i had sex with a younger girl and the girl blew my mind. I really love my wife but i am tired of her excuses during sex. Just give him more attention and be more creative in bed and u will see results. All he is doing is just trying to get ur attention

NJA said...

Dear 'My skin crawls when he touches me',
Very sad situation to be in. Pray to God and then you need to make some serious decisions and take some hard steps.
- Use a condom to protect yourself from STDs
- Calmly talk to him explaining your decision and expectations
- You have to commit to fulfilling his sexual needs if you want him to stop cheating
- Try to remember what you previously loved/desired about him and focus on that
- Consider psychological counseling, you may have post partum depression, check this link http://www.babycenter.ca/x3452/what-are-the-signs-of-postpartum-depression
- Ask God to give you the strength daily to commit to love your husband in words and actions
Good Luck!

Aaishah said...

Babes (GAP) God Answers Prayers ,so go on your knees and whisper to your creator am sure he'll listen.Remeber no marriage is made in heaven also no perfect marriage.i feel ur pain,its well.

Aby said...

This why I tell newly weds to give themselves a year to two years after the wedding before they bring any child into the marriage. Reason being, your first year of marriage is very very critical. It is more of like a foundation you are building. The change you and your spouse are going through is soo much plus you now want to bring all the stress of pregnancy into the equation? I dated my hubby for five years, and we saw each other everyday in those five years we dated. We were pretty much inseperable best friends. But our first year of marriage was something else. I'm soo happy we made the decision to wait on having children and just learn to know ourselves in the marriage and it worked for us. We had our first child a month after our second anniversary. We understand each other soo much now that it is scary. And thank God we both got very good jobs in a quiet remote area far away from family, friends, gossips and intruders. We dont even have any visitors or Nigerians wer we live. So if we are not at work or going on vacation( which we do like 3 times a year), we are locked up in our house. What I would advise you is to do what you have to do to make your marriage work. A woman builds her home, its not the man. The secret is Alot of women don't know how much POWER they have on men. Oh Lord, If you do, and you know how to use it to work in your favor to make your marriage the best it can be- life will be soo good. In fact both you and your hubby will be prospering year to year. It won't just be you alone. Abi Is it not woman like you that he is going to sleep with outside? Biko, be wise my dear!

Aaishah said...

Babes God Answers Prayers so move closer to him,hope u knw dha no marriage is made in heaven also no perfect marriage.So all yhu need do is Go Down Low.

Anonymous said...

All of you talking trash here. it's only @anon, who suggested both see a good marriage counsellor and embark on a short vacation to air their grievances, renew their marital vows and communicate deeply . She has said it all. So dear madam SoS, take heed to her advice. It will work for you both. Do not seperate from ur husband. Don't mind these home wreckers who are already frustrated in being a single mom. They want u to join the league.

Anonymous said...

The only honest truth to this, is to seek for counselling both of you, and thereafter, embark on a short vacation, get an exotic place for this, where all ur handsets would be switched off to avoid distraction. it will enable both of u to talk deeply to each other and thereby, reconciling ur differences. Both of u have to be honest with this and also renew ur marital vows, which u must stick with eternally. Trust me gurrl, it works wonders. I do not advocte for divorce or seperation at this stage. Mistakes are bound to happen at times, the ability to realise this, and retrace ur steps makes everything magical. Both of you should make it work.
Chantella....xoxo

Anonymous said...

Please my dear sis, U̶̲̥̅̊ need God's intervention in this case.Prayer is Key.Divorce is out of it.if U̶̲̥̅̊ go out of marriage,dat is wen U̶̲̥̅̊ knw there are worst guys dan Ɣ☺ΰя husband out there and then it will be too late for U̶̲̥̅̊ to go back agaain.pls always pray to save your marriage.

bitchplis said...

Lwtmao @ 'na only 6k e dash me'...so nollywood just dey feed us rubbish ni...

Anonymous said...

Please with this numerous women theory i hope you are protecting yourself during sex cos if this guy gives you one big thing ehn! God be with you

IFY J said...

its a sad situation that you're in, and i feel your pain.

MY HONEST ADVICE;
1) CONTINUE DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GIVE HIM SOME TIME TO COME AROUND.

2) IF HE DOESN'T CHANGE IN A FEW MONTHS, TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL, TRULY AND HONESTLY

3) BOTH OF YOU SHOULD SEEK COUNSELLING

4) IF YOU'RE RELIGIOUS, PRAY HARD ABOUT IT.

5) IF ALL THESE DO NOT WORK, MOVE OUT,.. TIME AND SPACE CAN BE A GOOD REMEDY...

6) IF HE DOESN'T CHANGE, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.... DON'T BASE YOUR LIFE & HAPPINESS ON A MAN WHO DOES NOT CARE OR IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.. GOODLUCK xxx

Ivie Oronsaye said...

In own opinion,think about the things that brought you two together and communication is a vital tool in marriage!the bible tells us that a wise woman builds her home ie we women re home builders!remember men think differently from the way we do.
Like wise,forgiveness is the key to a successful marriage,two wrongs cant make a right after all all men act same in a way if you leave your hubby how are you sure that another ll be better? Also remember those vows you both took(remind him also) trust God for his wisdom and grace to deal with every situation that arises!

Anonymous said...

My dear,the bible ‎​Ȋ̝̊ڪ our standard,there ‎​Ȋ̝̊ڪ no where ìτ̲̅ ‎​Ȋ̝̊ڪ written there that Marriage ‎​Ȋ̝̊ڪ for better for worst.totally wrong.

Anonymous said...

my dear u leave now hw ar u sure d next guy wud nt cheat on u,where 'll u get a man 2 marry? When single ladies everywhere haven't got one 2 marry 2 or u want 2 be dating other women's husban wht if u ar caught? Hw long will u do dt or want to become a 2nd wife? Better be patient and work it out urself

Anonymous said...

‎​ totally understand you dear.Iam there right nownin my own case my hubs ignores me when ‎​ try to reach out,and he's still seeing some other woman,when ‎​ talk to him abt ìτ̲̅(calmly)he mks me feel ‎​'m being paranoid or silly.I've decided to move on.

Anonymous said...

We knw men cheat but for him to do it in ur face witout any remorse nor apology is what I can only imagine. My advice is to seek God's face, pour out all ur anger, fears to Him. While u do that, show your husband more love. No nagging, no bad behaviour and wit time he wil start wondering why you are actually not angry wit him. He might ignore all d care initially but wit time, he will have a re-think and when d hand of God meets him... Just take things easy. I wish u best of luck.

Anonymous said...

This is nothing but a STORM in your marital life, how you go about it dictates the path for your future. Invite the only one who can "CALM" the storm into your life & marriage. JESUS is your answer. I pray for Gods' grace & mercy for you. Sing praise to God & He'll lead you in the way you should go. Leave it at His feet, only JESUS can save.

cute tammy said...

My dearie,pls mak ur decision,u r d 1 eating d food n u only knows how called n hot t is.so my advice z u suld seek d face of GOD n pls pray harder.dnt rush into any decision now,cus u alrdy hv a baby,so pls tink n luv him more at dis tym of trials.dis z d most trial n evry marriage so pls tink well n dnt allow sm1 2 tak or mak decisions 4 u.pls linda post my comment.

Anonymous said...

What rubbish!!! Even the bible says u can divorce ur spouse if they r unfaithful. So what do u mean by f"or better for worst"? Nonesense! I'll tell u the truth ma'am leave now b4 ur case ends like mine, cos if I had left the idiot I wouldn't be HIV+. Now the idiot of a man is abck and all sober cos he knows there is nothing left to do that to make peace with God and die quietly. Sometimes I just wish I could kill him myself but I love watching himdie slowly. I am telling u from experience LEAVE NOW! Cos I tried to be the good wife by staying and praying look where it landed me, I might never see my kide grow into adults cos I was being miss goody goody.trus me when he infects u with some incurable disease all these people telling u to stay and pray will not be there to help u. A word is enough for the wise. God bless u .

Anonymous said...

correctest, bestest, loveliset response. Listen to this babe!!!!! Nigerians&prayer. we take so much shit& pray it will turn to chocolate .

Anonymous said...

For better for worse means together facing d odds not one constantly against another. we so misunderstand ds saying .

Anonymous said...

Now I wish there is a like button on this blog! I listened to this same "stay and pray advice" now the fool gave me HIV and I might never live to see my kids grow up. I'm happy there r still people who think like u in this country. Thanks a million for saying the truth and not joining the chorus.

Anonymous said...

THANK U O JARE!!!!! GOD BLESS UR MOUTH ABI HAND

Therese said...

Have an affair!
I know two wrongs never make a right, but having said that, pain needs a drug to soothe away its sting. The affair is that sting. It will make you feel a lot better about your shitty marriage. And after awhile you will cease to care whatever he does!

Chika*** said...

Some of you guys are not serious! I think it should be a requirement to take your your huband with you during your doctor's visit. Let them explain to them what is expected during pregnacies. Like, are some guys stupid? Your wife is PREGNANT for the love of peace. Like, who does that? So, you can't hold it in while she is pregnant? What about her? Do you consider her condition? It doesn't get more selfish than this. Someone said that pregnancy is the next thing to death. Like, it is very complicated! Some of you make me sick. And we women, we need to do better. Stop with the excuses! The ones here (North America) know better. It is only in Naija sha

Anonymous said...

This makes me really sad for some reason (crying here) yes i'm quite sensitive like that..:( i'm in my 30's, single and I don't have a healthy impression of relationships/marriages at all. Is the 'marriage ideal' just a myth?

Anonymous said...

Best comment! Wish I had friends like u my story would have been different.

Anonymous said...

Thank u, most sensible comment.

Anonymous said...

this is just unacceptable....some men baffle me honestly. and some comment saying she should just sit and pray hoping miraclle will happen and he will just automatically change(Naijja when are we going to change)

Sapele Babe in Lagos said...

Hmmmmm,my dear,above all else,know this 'that your man cheats on you or is cheating on you doesn't mean he loves you any less or has stopped loving you". Marriage is a union of two forgivers.Going by the facts of ur case,I will say u actually did push ur man out albeit unintentionally.The essentiality of Dialogue in a marriage can never be over emphasized,you should have discussed ur temporary frigidity with ur husband,trust me there are other ways to enjoy and experience sexual orgasmic pleasure other than penetration and u would have explored that rather than closing shop totally,do you want the guy's engine to knock? Certainly he must seek other means of oiling na. My two kobo to you is this: Stick right there in your marriage,what u are experiencing is one of the teething problems in marriage and it will pass.You just take care of yourself,be strong,be happy,forgive your man,love him.stand in the gap fervently in prayers for him,You will be amazed at the result. I was in your shoes at a point in time,at first,I worried myself sick till I just let go and let God,God indeed stepped in and now my husband is mine and mine alone,sometimes,I secretly wish he would go and play away match small sef cus e com be like say d load too mush for only me one. So dear,hang in there,one year too small biko,I have bn with mine for 22years(courtship + marriage)so I know woramtalking!

mccoy said...

I actually feel sorry for any person turnin over to LIB readers/commentors for advice, for goodness sakes 80% of LIB commentors r hateful single ppl btw ages 22-50, 15% are underage (prince jobless & co) & just 5% are living fufilled married life, so my dear PLEASEEEEE go for good counselling frm a professional and dont let some LIBERs wreck ur home for you

mccoy said...

I actually feel sorry for any person turnin over to LIB readers/commentors for advice, for goodness sakes 80% of LIB commentors r hateful single ppl btw ages 22-50, 15% are underage (prince jobless & co) & just 5% are living fufilled married life, so my dear PLEASEEEEE go for good counselling frm a professional and dont let some LIBERs wreck ur home for you

Mr. GEEE said...

Hmmmm... this place stinks of evil advices. Na by force to give advice?

Anonymous said...

I just wanna hug u right now. This is the same reason why I'm in this condition I'm in now. If this same woman comes back 2yrs down the line to tell them her husband infected her with HIV these same people chanting stay and pray will still ask her y didn't she leave when she fund out he was cheating! Double mouthed Nigerians with their double standards. Mtshewwwwwwwww

Anonymous said...

Firstly as urself if u stil need dis marriage, if yes den show ur husb extra love and care, dats one tin dat can change a cheatin man. Den ask God to destroy destroy his oda relationship, dnt tink abt d tins his doing and make urself hapy. If u dnt want d mariage how sure d next guy u wil meet wnt do d same. Talk to him so u pple can make ur marriage work. Marriage is not a bed of roses as we all tink, der are thorns. But we dey rily chop shit from dis our husbs sha o. God b wit us all maRried peeps.

Anonymous said...

Linda, pay more attention to the pictures people use to make their comments on your blog before they turn your nice blog into a porn site.

Check out this guy, Wynerz Iremide's comment and the accompanying pic.

You don't have to publish this, please. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I'm seeing a lot of really crappy advices here.
First thing, sit your husband down and have a candid conversation. If both parties are willing to work things out, that would help.
If not, the Bible says divorce/separation is allowed on grounds of adultery. However, you can't remarry.
God's word must prevail as must your wedding vows.

Anonymous said...

This ijeoma that advised the lady is a just so Naive and people like that See there husband cheat and still cry for love.Its best you realize that you are African where a lot of respect is given to marriage as sacred.If she divorces this guy and the next husband does the same,where does that lead her.All human are not the same and who told you that your husband that is with you now during your own pregnancy will not mess up tomorrow.My dear friend,as Most LIB readers have suggested,Pray hard and i am sure he will come back to his senses.He will soon realize that he his a father when the responsibilities comes knocking.

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE A NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE AND HE IS DOING THIS...IF YOU CAN ASCERTAIN FOR A FACT THAT HE IS CHEATING THE SOONER U LEAVE THE BETTER...INFIDELITY IS THE NUMBER ONE GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE IF U ARE A XTIAN...AIDS AND OTHER SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES ARE REAL...U FEEL VERY VIOLATED EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY WHEN A SPOUSE CHEATS......

Chioma Andy said...

Dear, i sympathise with you. I know how a woman feels when she is being cheated on, you feel like dirt. But one thing that i am so sure of is that we have a God of impossibilities.
If God can change the heart of a relation of mine towards his wife for good, why not you too?

Please this is the time you need to stop listening to your feelings and reach out for God's touch on your husband.

Pray and add fasting, also make sacrifices to God and anything that will touch the heart of God and he will change your husband for good.

Anytime you cook for him,say a prayer in that Food. Declare that your husband is yours and yours alone and in a little while, you will overcome.

Please do not give up on your husband, because you might be the person to lead him to Christ through this.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what you should do. Hell- nobody knows what they are going to do. However I'll leave you with 3 quotes that resonate with me:

1)"[You] are Intimidatingly smart, obnoxiously beautiful, flamboyantly radiant, gracefully strong, unintentionally a problem solver and amazingly woman![ Never forget that]!"
Susan Ityavyar

2)“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Steve Jobs

3)“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian”
Dennis Wholey

Anonymous said...

This is one of the reasons why I find Nigerian women irritating.

The poster says before her pregnancy everything was great between her and her husband. After her pregnancy, and with the absence of a sex-drive, problems cropped up in her marriage.

It's pretty clear she's frigid, and should consult her doctor. Even better, sit her husband down and discuss the matter with him. Instead, she "gives" herself to her husband every once in a while, because he has "needs".

And what, you expect him NOT to feel like she doesn't find him attractive and she's not going out with some other dude?

Worse: you women come up here and chat shit about how men are evil. Fuck off.

The truth is, the poster ISN'T telling us everything. But even with the little she's telling us, it's pretty clear the blame falls on her shoulders. I'm not justifying her husband philandering; I'm saying he probably wouldn't have gone out to seek companionship with another woman if his wife had done what she was supposed to do, which is TALKED TO HIM in the first place.

Nigerian women are the architects of their own marital demise. I've said this before and I will continue to say it, again and again.

To the poster: best talk to your husband about what's going on and seek professional help.

Anonymous said...

believe me if you feel like that about your husband your marriage is over, save yourself and move on, marriage is not meant to be torture, it suppose to be the best time of your life

Anonymous said...

I really need advice here. My wife is not affectionate at all i practically have to beg to caress her or to even have sex with her. Its so heart breaking cause anytime she comes back from work she has this excuse of being tired or one other story. I started feeling that maybe i dont satisfy her in bed so i decided to try with other women out there and the response was so great. Some of the women kept asking for more.... So really what is my wife trying to prove cause she is aleeady making me prefer the sex outside. What i am afraid of and why i really want to change is that she will never find out and it will make me worse. Please i need ur candid and sincere advise.

Anonymous said...

My dear I knw how u feel,cus am presently going thru the same thing.I had a long distant relationship with ma husband. we worked in 2 diff state so I never truly knew him,I knew only the lies he told n the picture he painted. He was always so pleasant,attentive,loving,slow 2 anger,jst name it. He'll call me b4 he leaves 4 work,during lunch period,when he leaves work by 5,n twice b4 he sleeps. I should have known it was 2 good 2 be true,my husband started cheating a week after our wedding when I saw a chat he had with a girl telling her she was so sweet,he said he was jst joking I warned him n 4gave him, since them av been experiencing hell 4rm catching him in d guest toilet talking 2 a girl on phone,or waking up in the middle of the night 2 hear my "husb" having phone sex with a girl,2 seeing my husb recording himself with 3 nude gurls in a hotel room,2 me traveling n neighbors calling me 2 tell me my husband brought home diff girls every night ,2 me catching his friends discuss how my husb paid 4 one of his mistress apartment n even furnished it.etc.when I confront him with all dis he will so lie that am sure the devil will be jealous of his lying skills.7days in a week he'll leave the house 6.00am n come home 10,11,12 or 3 telling me he's working late. meanwhile his closing time 4rm work is 5pm.sometimes during wknds he won't even come home 2 sleep.when I was pregnant it was horrible 4 me 4rm my 1st month 2 d 9th month I was very depressed. This is the man that was so caring when we were dating. Any small argument we have he'll call his parents n report,nvr telling them the whole truth,he became very temperamental getting angry on little issues,sometimes I'll call him and ask y he deceived me so he could marry me even ask what I had done wrong 2 deserve all he's been doing 2 me.I told his mother hw he treats me one day n all she could tell me was I should endure. I HATE my husband.I despise him with all my heart.The only thing that gives me joy his my daughter,he rarely asks me 4 sex which I appreciate bcs all I think abt during sex is the hundreds of girl he as slept with unprotected,yes unprotected ,he rarely uses condom so I started buying condoms n always insist on using it b4 I allow him av sex with me.I have prayed my heart out n I have stopped. I have cried my brains out n still crying.I won't leave him cus I don't want my child growing up without the benefit of both parents,I won't even cheat cus I respect n honor my body but I will deal with him .I swear it

Anonymous said...

Lmao! @ adding. HIV to ur degree...

Anonymous said...

Truth be told!u might hv also contributed to his recent action by not letting him into ur worries abt sex and d lack of it as often as how it used to be can cause him to cheat so my honest advice 2u is to work on ur state of mind and stop eating up urself 4no reason,give ur husband ur best alround,don't b bias or doubt him,make him see d change in u first b4 u seek his cos from ur story,I think u share part of d blame too..pray 4ur marriage...itz too early to even make ur problems a big issue 4d public to help u..learn to strike an understanding wit ur husband in cases of misunderstanding..u luvd him and dats y u married him and u said he luvd u even more so u two shud get bck to d foundation of ur luv..God help u and grant u wisdom to handle it well.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe in giving up a marriage without a fight. however, I don't subscribe to the pray and fold your arms movement. HIV is real!!!!!!
I think the first thing to do is to be truthful with yourself and evaluate the situation.what was your rxn like to begin with. did you marry him just because you needed to marry. was there mutual love? did he make you feel good? do you know his fundamental nature and do you like his nature and mentality. do you respect him. if so, fight for your happiness. see a doctor for ways to increase your libido. pray to God to help you fulfil your marital duties. do your best, your own part.
if you answer no to the above questions, is it worth it flogging a dead horse. lots of naija women love to cry what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. truth is lots of marriages were not put together by God to begin with.
still all hope is not lost. if you so desire it, you can have it. the advice to leave is not for every woman because some derive happiness from being married and it is what it is. if you want him for you only. you can have him. swallow the disgust and study him well. get to know him and use his weaknesses to reel him in. above all, tell God what you desire and he will help you.
marriage is complex and we have different expectations and desires from it. work with yours not that of your fellow blog readers. some are insufferable endurers, some are religious nutcases, some are feminists and men-haters. some telling you to leave just want company in the divorced women club. some telling you to stay want company in the suffering wives club.
do what makes you happy. be blessed.

Anonymous said...

Lmao @ returning with STDs.. Buhahaha! they are all motherfuckers,that's why I have to jaiye ori mi before I marry..even after getting married gan, gbogbo e shin lo.. *Mama Yungba Yungba

lb baby said...

allb this talk to him issue ultimatum na just rubbish advice, this is the best advice dear, enroll in a gym and get ur sexy back by setting a target for yourself, exercise eliminates fatigue and boosts ur physical and mental well being,i rememeber when i lost weight it transformed me in to a sex rabbit, because i felt soo hot and sexy i was always on top of my boyfriend.... if u cannot acess a gym buy a skipping rope and start skipping, doing sit-ups and aerobica at least 3ce a week, trust me, then you begin to tidy up yourself, do corect hair, change your perfume, look nice, always cook nie meals for ur man, no need to beg, use your eyes to set him on fire by holding his gaze sexily and dropping it, then you act like you didnt even stare in d ist place, na magic recipe i give u soo o babe..

Anonymous said...

If i hear pray one more time i will vomit.This is why men misbehave women have been raised to be idiots and door mats .if you did the same thing to him would he not have kicked you out.Leave the bastard there are plenty of responsible men, you will hate yourself if you end up with AIDS in the future

Anonymous said...

Madam,with God all things are possible, please dont leave your marriage stay strong, i know its an unfortunate situation we have here but keep your head up and seek the face of God in prayers, he is the author and finsher of our faith.

Anonymous said...

We r cheats naturally;its nt just bcos yu lost ur appetite.Bsides,ur marriage is still young 2 complain.Yu need the wisdom of Solomon 2 tangle.He has nt ejected his old cargos bt with time,he will be done. Again,marriage is nt boyfriend & girlfriend thing,its xtremely different.Cheer up,i dont see any palaver 2 shrink yur face for.

Anonymous said...

We r cheats naturally;its nt just bcos yu lost ur appetite.Bsides,ur marriage is still young 2 complain.Yu need the wisdom of Solomon 2 tangle.He has nt ejected his old cargos bt with time,he will be done. Again,marriage is nt boyfriend & girlfriend thing,its xtremely different.Cheer up,i dont see any palaver 2 shrink yur face for.

Anonymous said...

@Chantella, that's really great advice!!!!

Nkmama said...

My dear, d 1st 4 years in a marriage is most challenging.Couples 're faced with understanding psychological, emotional, social and other needs of each partner.Please and please take it to d Lord in prayers; and so be d best wife and mother.please work at lovingly overlook some excesses and be assured that God still restores marriages.Mine is an e.g..Midnight prayers brought him back.

Nkmama said...

My dear, d 1st 4 years in a marriage is most challenging.Couples 're faced with understanding psychological, emotional, social and other needs of each partner.Please and please take it to d Lord in prayers; and so be d best wife and mother.please work at lovingly overlook some excesses and be assured that God still restores marriages.Mine is an e.g..Midnight prayers brought him back.

Anonymous said...

we shouldn't be quick to judge,we've just heard one side of the story. I think some things could have led to that. Maybe you're showing him that you're too perfect for him.
Or maybe you've been making him feel inferior
My advice is you guys see a marriage counsellor and you should learn to swallow your pride as well-it won't help the marriage
fight for your marriage and don't quit-if you really still cherish it

Anonymous said...

Permit me to say as much as I belive in God, I do feel action works, like one anon said take a vacation and tell him how you feel. You see for over 30yrs my mum has been praying 4God 2change my father and she is still praying, we the kids are all married and somx she calls to complain about how he treats her even in their mature age. I knw people and situation differ but like I said tk action and well oh well pray

Anonymous said...

Diff hormonal rxn 4women. Wen I was preggy it was mixed, horny for the first 6months and from 7-9mths only did it to satisfy my man and bring on labour

Greenmomma

Anonymous said...

Ur back to a 6????? Pls tell me what's ur secret oo! I'm still a 12-14 and baby is 4 months now. Btw, ur not d only one that's got problem in her marriage. We all do. Ask for wisdom wisdom wisdom! If ur problem is just cheating, You haven't got any darling! Biko pray, dnt mind what does ones tell u. Dnt leave ur husband. Stop searching thru his phones too. What u don't knw wldt kill u! Dont know how many times i will tell women this eh! now uve found out, did it change anything? better dnt develop high BP o, cus that night his babe will be in bed with him and another woman bringn up ur kid. kip looking hot, drop d wedding ring, and see him beg u to wear it! make sure he sees u before u go to work all decked up!occupy yourself with ur work and ur kid and still play ur role as a wife. u will see how he will change. Get that sex drive back o. Stop nagging too! P.s prayer works!!!! Esp that of a wife! That stood before God and exchanged vows o

Anonymous said...

Young lady take it easy and pray to God for guidance and then try and talk to him to let him know you are not a fool....... and that he should desist from such don't go about reporting him o,... resolve it between yourself and him and God will see you through.

Anonymous said...

My friend broke off her engagement. I dnt know wot happened, but she told me life is too short to end up with somebody that'll make you unhappy

ugo.m said...

it's only God dt can help in this situatn,d both of u nid to be ready to work tins out,see a therapist,it's no ones place to tell u to leave ur marriage,hang out with ur friends and family,do wateva gives u happiness.A good man is hard to find,may God help us who are single to identify and keep him.

Anonymous said...

This ur comment is useless. .blaming the lady as usaul for the husband's infidelity. .do u know what some women go through physically and emotionally when they are pregnant. .hv u heard of postpartum depression. .instead of the husband chasing all things in skirt. .he could hv been there for her..

Anonymous said...

This your comment jux shows you lack understanding in this matter. ..women go through great emotional., psychological even hormonal changes during pregnancy. .which different women express in different ways...hv u heard of postpartum depression. .pls we nigerians need to educate our selves especially the men..so they can learn how to support their wives instead of cheating.

stephanie greeny said...

Nawa 4 sum pipo Õoooº°˚ ◦ .....she shuld leave her huzy's hauz n go τ̲̅ȍ wia
Na? Cum τ̲̅ȍ urs ȋ̝̊̅̄
guess? Daz totally rong....don't mind dem Õoooº°˚ ◦ ....just don't allow him τ̲̅ȍ av hiz wayz till υ̲̣̥
see him change by toking senses into hz empty skull....he onced luvd υ̲̣̥
, υ̲̣̥
said? He wil change if υ̲̣̥
back d talks up wif prayers......is very common in evry marriage....

Anonymous said...

At chuks..r u educated? If u are..pls go back to school. .becos this ur comment is appalling. .how did she cause it..if u knew half of what pregnant women go through. .pls go and educate your self on the matter before u make the same mistake because of ignorance

Anonymous said...

Thank you oh...this is the first reasonable comment im seeing .I believe strongly in God..but we humans have a role to play in making marriage and the society a better place. .the comments here will really open ur eyes to the mentality plp have..marriage is a two way thing both parties have to work hard to make it work..but no in nigeria ..na d woman go carry everything for head ..good or bad.

zsa zsa said...

Please and please STOP with this "stay and Pray" advice when it comes to cheating or domestic violence!!! Imagine advice...keep making love to him, don't nag him...bla bla bla. The man is having sex with other women for crying out loud!!!
1. Please stop having sex with him until he has had a complete medical evaluation..STDs,HIV,clam...gono....
2. Get tested yourself
3. Get counseling if you intend to stay married.
Stop with the naivety , AIDS is real!! Infact other STDs can cause long term damage. AH ah! what type of silly advice is this!! If the marriage is not salvageable then let it go. Its much worse raising a child in such a hostile/hate filled home.

Anonymous said...

I support men. Pls find a way. To get the sparks back. There are sex shops around go and buy a sex toy use it on him and see wat happens.

Anonymous said...

If u were infected with hiv. Just take ur drugs and look after ur self and u will be fine. Unless it is full blown aids.

Anonymous said...

My dear just go on ur knees. Prayers indeed work wonders. Just try God and he will never fail you. There will surely be a turn around in ur marriage IJN. Amen. Also ve in mind that marriage is not bed of roses. Its a school where u can't stop learning new things abt each other, tackle them as they come and before u know it u guys will be best of friend . Just go on ur knees my dear. It is well.

Anonymous said...

Lol,...I feel u Anon11:54..my sexual appetite shoots d roof wen I am pregnant to the extent my hubby runs,Lol

Anonymous said...

Eeya....all I can say is dis;if u never slept wit a married man,I mean somone else's husband b4 u got married,God wil set yur husband free buh if u ever did.....he has not even started my dear,the curses of the victims(wives) wil make u go thru hell.No sinner wil never go unpunished wit or witout repentance. #gbam#

Anonymous said...

Hmmm! Anon 4:05,so sorry u had to go thru all this,the Lord is ur strenght ..and don't give up!if managed well u can live to see your grand kids!

Nk said...

Yea bt in btw she shld tk a break 2 clear her head,marriage is not bed of roses,somtimes u jst want 2 take a break,e no easy.talkin 4rm xperience

Anonymous said...

Leave her

Anonymous said...

It isn't a myth.....when u find the right person.....marriage is a very very. beautiful thing.....am not married but I witnessed the love bw my parents!.....somthing to envy!(Smiles).....Don't give up,God will give you yours .......Aymii

Anonymous said...

Eeya....all I can say is dis;if u never slept wit a married man,I mean somone else's husband b4 u got married,God wil set yur husband free buh if u ever did.....he has not even started my dear,the curses of the victims(wives) wil make u go thru hell.No sinner wil never go unpunished wit or witout repentance. #gbam#

Anonymous said...

Lord in heaven, all these comments are depressing. Stay and pray, get on your knees. Sigh! This is why nothing in this country ever gets done, everything is pray pray pray. Hiss
OK madam I don't know why you will want to get advice from the fuck-tards on this site. But if you are looking for advice:

If you want to preserve your marriage, go to a certified marriage counsellor and convince him to go with you. Don't force him into it, convinced him and if possible get someone he trusts that's is open minded to encourage him to go with you

However saying that a leopard doesn't change his spots. My parents are both pastors in the church, late night vigil, pray every morning, name it. They are both miserable in their marriage, in fact I dread going home for fear of being a mediator for both for both of them. That isn't to say that they aren't great parents however me and my siblings find it hard to think about our childhood without crying. As a parent it is hard for you to raise proper happy children when you are miserable in your marriage.

So please have a think about it. Forget and fuck all those people telling you you have to stay, you owe it to yourself and your child to be happy AND safe from all the bullshit your husband is bringing back to your home. I know many children brought up in one parent household that are doing fantastically. You do NOT need a man to bring up proper God fearing children.

Anonymous said...

She is a good girl? Then thats the bottom line. Shes probably just immature. If you love her dont leave her.You will be the one to help her.

Anonymous said...

Trustme. You are playing with fire. Stolen bread is sweet but afterwards the mouth is filled with gravel.

Anonymous said...

Im sorry for you. Instead of all this bitterness, just take a walk! I can seeyou a bitter old maid in a few years from now. Pity!

Anonymous said...

He broke the bond of marriage when he went out with other women. If truly he is cheating, please dump his ass and look for true love... and please dont go date some young money hungry dude... fall in love with someone that would treat you well and right

A man here advising :)

***Lush said...

Have you considered separation??

Separation is the legal term for a married couple living separately. Sometimes, for a cheating husband, that is the wake-up call he needs. At other times, one party realizes s/he is happier without the other person and files for divorce.

My only concern about the way you are feeling is postpartum depression. However, you haven't described other symptoms that go along with depression, ie. irritability, mood swings, lack of sleep, changes in appetite, severe sadness, etc. I don't think you are depressed and I certainly doubt you are simply being 'hormonal'.

I think your husband has just pushed you to the end of your rope and you're done.

To save your marriage, consider a separation. You should leave not only because of the mental and emotional abuse, but also because of your husband's cheating. A mother can hide abuse from her child, but she certainly cannot hide physical illness due to HIV. Who will take care of your newborn if you are ill? What if the sickness is terminal? If you do catch a terminal illness because of your husband's cheating, you will miss birthdays, graduations, weddings, becoming 'grandma'. Are you fine with that?

Use the period of separation to focus on yourself, your newborn, and renewing your mind and spirit. If separation helps save your marriage, great. If not, let it go.



***Lush

Anonymous said...

@MamaBaby, I feel sorry for your husband. @kinzo, spot on!

Debbie said...

you really need to talk to your husband he may not have know the hormones was the reason you had no sex drive left to him he probably thought u didnt love him anymore or you were getting it from another dude. Pray and ask God for direction and then ask for a listening ear in your husband i suggest reading battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer. You need to forgive him because even if you leave unforgiveness will prevent you from happiness with someone else, like poison it will eat you up. Take the high road and stay but dont expect a turn around immediately if u decide to stay, the love will come but you both need to work at it not just him you both need to work to build back trust.

Anonymous said...

Spiritual problem, ke?! See this myopic human being...!!!

Anonymous said...

Hello young lady, I am a man and I really think I feel your hurt and pain. U have been patient all this while and I believe u will reap d reward of a good wife soon. Do not give up and stay prayerful. Try to look at ur kids and extend the love to their father. Soon that man will realize himself and return back to d man u dated and got married to. May God grant u d Grace and patience to pull through!

Anonymous said...

omg u were going through post pregnancy depression. its not ur fault its actually a diagnoised illness. Although NOTHING justifys ur husbands actions I'm sure thats was his trigger. I would suggest u pray about it and see the word of God first then also see a counsellor before u make any harsh decisions.

Anonymous said...

Read ur bible or quran 4 answers but remember most vagabond children come from broken marriages
Continue ur wifely duties, go 4 tests to rule out STIs with him
Do u know who d next man u r going to is?

Anonymous said...

#Gbam!!

Anonymous said...

Iono wat all these people are saying but I think you should just pray, and then also try to bring ur sexy back like dat other woman said and if it doesn't work I think YOU should leave the marriage cuz ur nobody's door mat. They say its a mans world but its a woman's world too. This is the 21st century u can't make one mistake of a marriage rule ur life forever. U said u have two degrees from one of the best universities in the world, that shows that u were brought up in a well to do and educated home and you certainly don't deserve to end up like this. I know it's not easy cuz u have a daughter but u have to take control of ur life and destiny. Nobody has the right to trample on your emotions like this so girl u have to sit up and make ur life work. Analyze ur situation and do what's best for u, it's ur life despite everyone's advice and you know what would make you happy and fulfilled so go get it.... Remember life is a one man race and life is for the living and those who know how to live it so do what's best for u and take full charge and control and don't let anyone take you for granted. YOU are a peculiar person so wonderfully made by God and soo unique you sure deserve much better. I love you dearly, even tho I don't know you. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE AND LEAVE THE REST FOR GOD.

Anonymous said...

SMH to how 'pple just say leave your marriage' Im sure majority of this pple are not married. Marriage is a life time commitment! and it is not as easy as that! SHIOR!

Anonymous said...

I really hope you do get to read this. I am a christian & I hope GOD will grant you the grace to understand it. For as long as the Bible is true & as long as you depend on the Bible then you can NEVER EVER loose. Please stick to him if that is what you want, if not then divorce him. If you do stick with him then you must obey you husband. Don't nag, fight or misbehave. Ask GOD for wisdom to handle this situation & He surely will grant you your hearts desire. It could take a while though but He will never leave you nor forsake you that you might boldly say the LORD is my helper..... Continue to be the good wife, even better than you used to. I suspect this would be very hard, but you also must ask GOD to help you control you mind because that is where the battle really is. When you win there you have won. GOD bless you.

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