Dear LIB readers: My girlfriend said no to my marriage proposal | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday 24 March 2013

Dear LIB readers: My girlfriend said no to my marriage proposal

From a male LIB reader
I proposed to my girlfriend a few days ago and her answer to me was 'she's not ready to settle down'. What I find odd is that she's 29. How can a 29 year old lady not be ready to settle down? We've been dating for about 11 months and I thought we were at a good place that's why I proposed. Her answer took me by surprise and I'm wondering if she really isn't ready for marriage or she's just not interested in marrying me? This is confusing to me. Please help.

195 comments:

Unknown said...

lmaooo is she a learner

Anonymous said...

Guy....she's seeing someone else!! She doesn't know ow to tell u!

Anonymous said...

please forget about her.....she'll screw you over

↭PRINCE JOBLESS↭ said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

She said no? And you're still in the relationshit sorry relationship?

HAHAHAHa!!!!

Ok, grab a solid rope and kill yourself.

PRINCE CHILLY said...

I think she's not just ready... Marriage is a n institution that should be thought about before jumpin in.. U can't just make discisions like dat... So if she's not ready, she is not ready... Forge ahead bro..

Anonymous said...

isnt it glaring?? she doesnt love you. and she's never gon marry you. MOVE ON BRO

Anonymous said...

trust me, she ready but she not gon marry u cos she aint interested in YOU

Dr. Pinch said...

You answered the question yourself, she's not just interested in marrying you. She probably has another guy so dude use your tongue and count you teeth. In other words move the fuck on with your life!!!

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart, she is not ready to be your wife. It's not like she's not ready for marriage, because another man could propose to her a month from now and she'll say yes. You are probably not doing something right,or she doesn't think you are good enough for her, or she has another man in her life or she is probably still not too sure about you. You two should talk about it when the air is clear. And if you eventually talk about her reason for saying no, try to let her do the talking and listen attentively. That way you'd know if it's 'deuces' or if you should stay and work harder on the relationship

Anonymous said...

she doesnt love u.simple!

Anonymous said...

She's simply not into u n maybe she has options. Sorry dude.

Unknown said...

May b she is seeing sm1 else or she is really not ready but @29 I wonder if such babes exist!!!!

Anonymous said...

Come make i give me my fine sister to marry, dis ur gal na big idiot

Anonymous said...

Communicate with ur gf

Anonymous said...

Ask her nt us

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Me bruh don't mind her,thank God and moveon.
She'll realise what she has done to herself when her 13 Oclock will arrive and her face can't hold maryK again.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

Marriage na prayer point for all the churches becos no husband for street of 9ja!!! u be cute guy so work into any bank u go see them there becos most bankers dey cry for husband go man

Anonymous said...

She doesn't want to settle down with you..there! Is it clear enough? She looking for someone richer or she's already onto someone who's richer. Man up and admit the truth, i know it hurts but it's what it is.

Anonymous said...

She's not intrested in marrying you, its as simple as that. Don't try to convince her into changing her mind else, you'll be the one to regret it should anyhing go wrong. Move on now, before its too late.

Anonymous said...

May be she is seeing someone else

Anonymous said...

She ain't feeling you boo.

Anonymous said...

sorry

African Sweetheart said...

sad times.

http://africansweetheart.blogspot.co.uk/

Anonymous said...

MAYBE YOU DON'T SEXXXXXXX HER WELL GUY

Anonymous said...

She doesn't want to spend d rest of her life with you,just like guys.some girls date guys for fun,they know the one they will accept their proposal.

Anonymous said...

It's not dat she snt ready to settle down.
It's dat she doesn't want to settle down with u.
Sorry dude, but she has a rite to her choices. Guys do it all d time, y s it strange wen a woman exercises dat rite to turn down a marraige proposal Cos it snt wot she wants?

Anonymous said...

Ol boy the babe is not interested in you, she's interested in your small change. Wise up!

Anonymous said...

Lol!!! Guy move ahead.

Anonymous said...

Eheh so if she's 29 does that mean she must settle with any man even when she's not into the person,sorry bro not every girl is desperate,the truth is that she doesn't want you to father her children.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear,you sound heartbroken so sorry about that..But truth is you have to move on,a 29 year old lady anywhere in the world esp Nigeria is'over' ready for marriage,ℓ☺ℓ ...so she's ready for marriage,that person is just aint you

Pretty Girl

Anonymous said...

Your girlfriend is 1 of the few reasonable women in our society today. Don't read too much into it, and don't listen to negative people (she is not ready, its that simple). That should show you that she is trying to develop herself properly so that she can be the best wife she can be (when she is ready). I say SHE IS WORTH WAITING FOR.

Anonymous said...

Lol!! Take hrt my guy...uv been d side lover all diz while...keep ur ring ojare..i sure say e cost!

Anonymous said...

Guy put urself together. Review ur situation from a completely objective position. You would have a clearer understanding of ur predicament and a better pedestal to making favourable decision. Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

D truth d babe no luv u.

Anonymous said...

There must be something you ain't doing right....

Anonymous said...

She isn't lookin for a future with you, mayb she's got someone else that's serious.. Its best u moved on, am sure there r many other girls dat are ready for a life commitment wit u. Sorry
BBB

Anonymous said...

A fine place shouldn't make u propose. U shud av known by now if she rili did love you, 11months is noting. N o yes, she might not be ready. Marriage is a vow not a play ground . She is still getting to know u better so mayb u have to propose again

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm, serious indeed! My dear abeg RUN RUN and RUN as ur legs can carry u before u enter one chance motor. U don't need an Angel to tell u dat ur babe is just fooling arnd with u. U aint the one for her if not, she wuld be d one begging u to propose. U are simply Mugu6

Anonymous said...

She has another guy! Believe me, am a gurl too.

Chikito said...

She does not want to marry u, na by force. Pls allow her joor.

Anonymous said...

keep ur problem to yourself, gals plenty for everywhere

Anonymous said...

it just means she is not ready to settle down WITH YOU.
Sorry, but just move on.

Dr. Pinch said...

You answered the question yourself, she's not just interested in marrying you. She probably has another guy so dude use your tongue and count you teeth. In other words move the fuck on with your life!!!

Anonymous said...

she is probably not interested in marrying you. you need to find out from her what is it that she expects from a marriage ( husband) what qualities etc, then build on that.

Anonymous said...

Check yourself dude,a 29yr old lady says no to ur marriage proposal?then uve a problem,I'm talking from experience cos I was once in ur shoes,happend to me.
U need to check urself,do uve a temper,body odour,a job (well paying),etc.
She knows wat she's doing,trust me!

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Read the writings on the wall. If she isn't making much of an effort to show that she wants to be part of your future then you should know she is just not OK with you in her future and doesn't just wanna say it, maybe she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings or something.

SUNSHINE said...

Don't force it mahn.
She ain't 'ready'.
I know her type.
Got loads of them in my neighbourhood.
Leave her, she'd start decaying anytime soon.
No young man would want an old pig as a wife when there are fresh young ladies out there.
Move on.. You'd find your better half soon.

ebira babe said...

Leenda, is dis writer for real or are u shiting us?Cos dis is one d dumbest story I have eva read.If its for real,tell d cry baby to freakin get a life nd stop being a wimp.u dnt need us to giv yu no advice.

Anonymous said...

Honey let me tell you the bitter truth...a girl that is actually into you but not ready to settle down will collect the ring from you first of all,then give you tangible reasons why she's not ready to settle down and might even plead with you to chill a lil.The fact that she didn't even collect the ring says just one thing..she's just not into you!So wear your nike shoes and take a walk.There's a somebody for everybody,your somebody is waiting for you...Kaiy

lebky said...

Guy! Av u checked ur self properly? Are u sure u av wht it entails to be a husband nt just a husband a good husband I mean? Are u sure u can take good care of her? Guess the duration of d relationship mayb too short for her! She is still trying to study so she won't fall into the wrong "hands"

Anonymous said...

she doesn't love you, there is obviously someone else. Sorry

Anonymous said...

Buhaha! As in ehnn! Did it to a guy one time like that, the dude asked me to marry him, o'boy, I take laugh scarra the whole place ni oo.. He felt so embarrassed..

Anonymous said...

Buhaha! As in ehnn! Did it to a guy one time like that, the dude asked me to marry him, o'boy, I take laugh scarra the whole place ni oo.. He felt so embarrassed..

Anonymous said...

Abeg, just find out her reasons for not being ready yet. See if they make sense. Tell her you want to understand her intentions/plans.
Her ans will let you know if to wait or move

And of course, you have to pray before making such huge decisions in your life

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you. Shes sensible and shes not letting age force her into marriage,happinees and inner peace matters.

Anonymous said...

She loves u buh, she feels u guyz are not compartible as husband nd wife nd she feels if she marries u, she might regret it. Jst hope u don't hit her.

Anonymous said...

Best comment!

Anonymous said...

Another great comment

Anonymous said...

Did u ever stop to think that 11 months is too little to determine if u lot re meant to be together. She is simply being cautious not to make a mistake and then have to live with it. U don't want a situation where u would rush into marriage and then rush out. My advice is to stay put, get to know each other a bit more and then ask again, forget all these desperadoes, that re saying she ain't interested and all.

B

Anonymous said...

@29 not ready?!!... But u should have seen the writing on the wall that she wasn't feeling u, u just chose not to read. You have been used and abused, better now than later, get a grip n move on, if she comes back... Run!

Anonymous said...

pls come and propose to linda! she'll say yes...lol
Z

Anonymous said...

My dear she doesn't want u,com lemme give u TLC(tender love n care) that's if u have wt u do 4 a living sha......lol

Femiluv said...

Unlike most of the responses saying she has a guy on the side, maybe she's genuinely not ready to be married. What reasons did she give you for saying no? Personally, there are certain things I want to accomplish before tying the knot.

Saying "I'm not ready to get married" is vague but if she gives you specific reasons why she isn't ready to get married, that should be understandable.

jahzmene said...

Ur a gurl too doesn't mean evryoda girl is lyk u....cheat! Abeg guy,sit ur woman down and discus wit her and stop assuming,u neva cn tell wat her reasons are....until u guyz talk,u dunno...dis Anon 11:12pm just open mouth yakata dey yarn shit!mstcheeew.

Unknown said...

Obviously, she's definitely not interested in marrying you. Just call her, sit her down, and ask why she doesn't want to. It's good to know so that if the fault is from you, you'd work on yourself.

Unknown said...

Bro, from experiences.Your woman is seeing someone else, no 2 ways. Some ladies might ssee u as a bf material but not a lifepartner, don't be surprised when she will send u her wedding invitation 2 weeks from now. I sympathize with you bro, I know how you feel.How I wish we could drink this over a beer.Most times men are seen as villains but we take the hardest hit the most when it comes to the heart.

Anonymous said...

Lol. Ode. If she's worth waiting for, she'll say yes but tell you that you bothe need to develop yourselves. This just means she's seeing someone else or will never marry you. Simple. But wait o, this guy, propose after 11 months? U sef, wetin u chop?

Anonymous said...

My broda she de see someone else jare u should av read d signs pele shogbo.eni tolori oni fila (rayuwa Kenan)

Anonymous said...

Get a life and move on, she has other plans and maybe you re not good enough for her. Life goes on.

Anonymous said...

Buhaha! As in ehnn! Did it to a guy one time like that, the dude asked me to marry him, o'boy, I take laugh scarra the whole place ni oo.. He felt so embarrassed..

Anonymous said...

So pple can still be dis foolish.. Go and strt lookin 4 anoda wife

Anonymous said...

Sorry to burst ur bubble but not every lady is ready for marriage be it 21 or 37yr old. Not everyone understands wat marriage entails and not everyone is desperate enough to rush in...only fools rush in. In today's society where the divorce rate is almost as high as the rate of weddings being done it takes a very smart and mature lady to decline a proposal. Yes it cld be she doesn't think ur the right person for her, or maybe she's dating someonelse guess time wld tell. If you feel she's someone you really "love" and ur ready to spend the "rest of ur life" with her then sit her down and have a honest conversation with her. And if you think it makes sense then wait till she's ready or move on. It's better for you both she declined now then wake up 2yrs down the line (most marriages theses days don't pull thru the 3yr mark) and discover u can't stand each other and start living separate lives or worse get divorced. Every disappointment is a blessing dude, look back on the past 11mnths and re-evaluate ur relationship, might be ur not doing something right either or u both jst aren't meant to be.... All the best to you

Anonymous said...

She may not be seeing anyone. You just have to understand that not every girl is psyched about marriage.

Unknown said...

My brother, you are just washing someone else's car. He will soon come and drive it.

Aymii said...

@Anon 11.07....Do. You live in naija??? A 29 year old Nigerian Woman not yet ready for marriage ke???????(Huh)................................My proposing guy, leave the advice from people like Anon 11.07 and listen 2 ur fellow bros!!................................Firstly.....That babe doesn't love You!!!...she's just managing you for now!!..................................Secondly, She's probably seeing somone else, or waitin for the type of guy she wants..............Thirdly....Oncethat guy comes around, she go abandon you, delete your number join sef (before u overdisturb her phone)!!...................................I have a 30 year old beautiful banker babe hustling me right now!!!! So beleeeeeee mi wen I tell you vat at that age, if d babe gbadun you, she'll propose to you sef!!!!............................so ma guy find another babe, except you want to stick around till she's turns 38years and your the "last supper".....Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

She is a Learner how ? mr writer when did age become a criteria for marriage. Am 32 and I still single am not ready either, marriage is deep it not about feelings but understanding and wisdom

Anonymous said...

u dy mad o..after 11 months is jumping in??? Na wa o! Naija don dy copy this weird american lifestyle
Women there can never be anything like staying on ur own,God don make una to have a companion
Guy go find anooda babe joor,who gives a flying fuck if she no gree

Motunrayo said...

I don't see why everyone is talking as if marriage is the all in all. I had a guy who wanted to marry me and I really wasn't ready to marry anybody at that time so I said no even though I was 28. She may like you but not be ready to marry you. Guys do it all the time and nobody says anything.

Marriage is not like buying a pair of shoes, it's a something you have to seriously think about. Must you marry the guy you happen to be dating when you're supposedly at a marriageable age? Wont you date and then determine if it's right for you or not?

I'm finally getting married at 31 and it's only because I'm mentally ready for such a big commitment. So everyone is allowed to make their own choices.

Anonymous said...

lwkmd

Anonymous said...

From a girl in the same situation as your gf, i don't like my bf well enough to marry him . He is rich and i'm facing a lot of pressure coz of my age and the scarcity of good guys nowadays. All i keep thinking of is how unhappy i will make him in the future if this issue isn't addressed.
I'll advice you to talk to her and ask for genuine reasons so that both of you will make the best decision for your future and that of your future kids.

Anonymous said...

She doesn't want u! Move on Bro.

emarketstrategy said...

3 things are involved.... She's either seeing som1 else whom she probably prefers to you!

Secondly, don't you tink she myt not like smtin really grave abt you? Some guy's are so arrogant, egoistic or just plainly lacks compassion or rather very very very bad in bed...

Lastly, she myt just be plain-foolish

The later is most likely it, cos a woman at 29 desperate to settle down would opt for the most available to her.

Anonymous said...

Good on you

Anonymous said...

Wow that's mean

Gwen said...

Dude, please tell us the FULL situation and not waste our time giving u any advice. I will put some questions as a guide..... Re-think and repost and trust me, you will get constructive feedback

1. Do u have a small prick?
2. Is the girl a spoilt rich kid?
3. Is she a runs girl who has been supporting you?
4. Are u a woman beater?
5. Are you in the same social class?
6. Is she greedy and never satisfied with anything and always wanting more?
7. Are you pussy whipped and refuse to see all the qualities that doesn't make her wife material?
8. Are you her first boyfriend and possibly just rushing the whole marriage thing to have sex with her? OR her rich father about to die and you want to be a trophy husband

Oh boy, if you are not willing to be honest with yourself and say it as it is, then get off this blog. YOU both know what you want and what the real situation is, so if you are not man enough to say it, then FACE YOUR WOMAN AND USE YOUR HEAD.

Anonymous said...

maybe cos its just been 11 months

ChinaU said...

Or perhaps you are rushing into things??!
I'm not sure why most men rush into marriage...only for you to end up in divorce! It's only been 11 months, not long enough hun.
I'm sure she's just giving herself time to figure things out. At least, celebrate your 1 year anniversary before proposing. She'll come around when the time is right.

FAbuLoUSiTy said...

How do u pple knw weda d guy no be broke ass nigga with no prospects! He wan come tie d babe down in poverty, she prolly loves him and dated him fr dt long, and hopin he gets his priorities and be a better person be4 she jumps in , u pple no go look all angles be4 una conclude say she get sm1 else.. Ask her why simples!! If shez cunny abt her answer then leave thers sm1 else then...

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous Aymii:Guy you make brain...LOL at Last Supper.

Unknown said...

Propose again na nd if she say no, propose again nd again.. Wait sef, u don sex d babe yet? 11 months! U must be very wowo abi y ur blood dey hot so? Oga, wht u need rite nw is alcohol. Forget d babe Abeg. Plenty fishes dey plenty rivers. She be Agbani?

THE MAN said...

THE BABE IS UP TO SOMETHING, LEAVE HER JOOR

Anonymous said...

Plus maybe there are characteristics that she doesn't like in you. Am going through the same right now with my BF of 3 years. I love him but I ask myself if I can stand him for life.
So get talking with her, she might just give you a hint or tell you where you fall short . MOST IMPORTANTLY listen to her complaint and work towards changing. If my BF proposes to me now I might just say NO cos I have given him enough time to change.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Your comment has even helped my own situation. You should be a counsellor of some sort.

Anonymous said...

homeboy better move on. LooL.

viv said...

she has a spiritual husband

Gentletee said...

Her reason is not genuine, I believe there is something to hide which she is not ready to disclose which may embarrase the guy. Please forget this girl and move on, no time to waste!

Anonymous said...

The guy might not have what she wants in a man,ve a heart to heart talk with her dt way you know what its wrong.I believe life is a learning process...my advice is to talk her...communiction is the key.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

the truth is, you are not the only one she is seeing. she likes you for someoda reason but not marriage. period!

Yhincah said...

shes notjustok.

Yhincah said...

shes notjustok

Anonymous said...

I think u should make more money

Anonymous said...

bros my own adviceismake u checkur sef well well weda ur dick is very small too cos dat one is very annoying to sum gals dey cant afford to manage small thng for life or weda u too no dey last for d game joor dis part woman will not tell u all dis u can find out from her very close frnd LINDA publish mne oooh
TEEJAY

Anonymous said...

I think you need to pray about it..!

Mistr Tee said...

Lets talk about the psychology behind her decision.(1)Have you checked her family background?Maybe growing up as a little kid wasn't fun,she could be a product of bad parental influences,maybe her father maltreated her Mother so bad & affects her mentally while growing up..(2)Man for the past eleven month what have you observed about her when she is around you or not with you,its easy to know when a girl is in love with you is hard to hide,take it from me,have being around to know much.(3)Have she ever introduced you to her parent,friends or colleague as in "meet my man" that kinda stuff?If she hasn't then she is not into you,she sees you as an option but not the answer.(4)What was her reason why she turned the proposal down,if didn't give you a tangible reason then man you have to let her go before she destroys the chances of another good female who is ready to share her life & grow old with you..SO BE WISE MAN

ary said...

The truth is, she is 'I am not ready to settle down' is code for 'I am not interested in you for marriage'. She was just dating you for money or security and does not see you as marriage material! Most Nigerian women are ready to settle down at 25 and even far less talk more of 29! So get the picture you are not her marrying type. But again, you don't propose to a girl who you haven't discussed marriage with either in passing or not during a relationship and expect her to say yes.

ary said...

Madam you are more than ready, if you had seen a suitable suitor would you still be single? Talk true.

Anonymous said...

I seriously said no to my bf's proposal after 2yrs of dating. Dude has bn my errtin, am 28! I said no.. Cos even tho I loved him silly, I wasn't pysched up for marriage! Ol boy, now I want to die o.. Am a banker! Customer service. I meet boys! Fine rich ones too.. Avnt found love o.. I want to die.. I cnt ask him back cos its bn 5mnths! Dude has travelled out, in canada nw? World I want to die I swear, am jus covering up with fine face n nice smile av alws had! Help...... Bottm line is, she may love him but stil enjoys the attentn n distractn like I was! Ol boy.. Tell that guy to leave her so I cud av a buddy in my world.. Me with the girl go come comment for lib..

Anonymous said...

Eyaaah, sorry my dear...well she's obviously not interested, so my advice 2 u will b 2 kill yourself!

Mz Tee said...

Some ppl actually have phobia for marriage. Have a sis who told her bf then she wasn't ready. She was scared of marriage @ 29!!!! All d negative things she hears and how someone very close tous suffers inher marriage! D marriage thing didn't appeal to her at all. It took d guy showing her for another year that he was diff to convince her otherwise,and today they've got 3 kids!!!! So its not cos she's not that into u,it just maybe phobia.

Anonymous said...

The problem is that most people marry for all the wrong reasons, for instance they are not getting any younger.
Marriage should occur when you find someone you cannot go through life without, and frankly it has nothing to do with age. Some people find that person very early, some very late, and some actually never find that person. So its not a matter of how old she is, its actually how she feels about you and like she said, whether she is emotionally ready or not.

Anonymous said...

Pls wat dyu do 2 ur bf who u just found out is engaged 2 sm1 else nd is still denyin it afta sendin all ur toasters away,actin all innocent

Ngo... said...

Proposer, your story is too incomplete for anyone to make a fair judgment... all that is going to happen now is that people are just going to insult her because she's 29 and she said 'No'. We don't know what kind of person she is;

Is she a materialistic girl who is waiting for a musician boyfriend who will marry her in Dubai? Remind her that Annie (as much as I dislike her) didn't start today...

Or it may be that you are lazy and immature and she's sensible enough to know that she can't handle someone like you for the rest of her life.

Tell us the truth!!!

Anonymous said...

Anon12:29am, May God bless ur soul&spirit, & everything dat concerns u! I wish Linda would just take out everybody's comments&leave just urs for dis guy to see d only answer with light light to his present challenge! And did I say God bless u? Oh, yea I did, buh lemme say it again, GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Engr. Dee

Anonymous said...

‎​Ʊ are not ready @ 32, ∂E̶̲̥̅̊Y̶̲̥̅̊ dere ∂E̶̲̥̅̊Y̶̲̥̅̊ fool ur self, ‎​Ʊ ll be ready @ 50.

Anonymous said...

Ur also a confirmed learner guess its wen ur eggs dry up ul b ready to settle down.if u av not found d rite guy dats a diff case, under no circumstance am I in support of anybdy getin marid jst fr d sake of it,buh ur nt ready @ 32!!!!! I wish u d very best

Anonymous said...

Maybe she is doing her MBA-Men Banging Assessment...lol

Dami said...

Ehya sorry.....just shift base jawe

Unknown said...

Dats very true.marriage is not something u rush into.wait for the perfect time.

Abeke said...

She definately has doubts abt her future with u. If u r still interested, u shuld talk 2 her and give r room to bear her mind with getting angry. Saying she's nt ready dosnt mean she's seeing someone else like everyone is insinuating.

Anonymous said...

maybe 11 months is not long enough time for her to decide if she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. cos she's 29 don't have to make her jump into it and fly out later and maybe you don't tick all the boxes.

Anonymous said...

Look. For luv somwhr else dear!

The Sporting Machine said...

leave her alone please, she have someone xx

Emmalux said...

M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ brother, 11months is not d issue. Wat she wants is not in u so I will advise u 2 move on and look 4 a girl dat feels u then u can still keep fucking dis 1 without her kbnowing dat u hav sm1 else. Maybe wen she realises dat she has become a bed warming tool, she will sit her life up. Move on bro, she doesn't deserve u even at 29.

The President said...

LIBers never cease to amaze me. This is the blog where people judge others without even knowing or having proper details - just assumptions. How dare anyone come up here and pour insults on a girl they know nothing about?so because she's not ready to settle down at 29 she's an automatic fool?ok,please tell me the right age a woman should get married! Has it occurred to you negative judgemental lot that not every girl is in a HURRY to settle down? Has it occurred to you that she as well as other ladies're NOT even looking for a guy's money 'cos they're hard working and earn their living? Lord have Mercy!The lot of people commenting here are a bunch of low lives and saddists,experts in pulling everyone down,it's unbelievable, and you'll call your selves educated while you reason like stark idiots and illiterates. For the guy who asked the question,she's just not ready. NEVER assume anything. Shut your ears to society trying to convince you that she's seeing someone else until you confirm it. Please once again,NEVER assume anything. Divorce rates're too high,marriages are failing by the minute. It's not who gets there 1st,it's who lasts and is happy in it. No one wants to get married old but if you're not compatible,please wait. There's a right partner for everyone. Thing is most people miss it 'cos they're in a hurry to 'please' society. My God the comments!

Makz said...

Guy u r not d marrying type or u were just a back up plan, while she waits 4 her main plan to propose. She rather wait than be sorry 4 making a wrong choice.

Anonymous said...

She doesnt trust you. Marriage is no joke my dear not every girl is ready to join d band wagon. I'm in no particular haste and I love my bf to pieces. I have other concerns and plans but love isnt d issue

Anonymous said...

Its very normal. I have been in such situation where my so called boyfriend tot that proposing to me will be his greatest gift to me. I turned it down because I was not at peace with marrying him. Was just hanging on to the relationship with the hope that it may work. Meanwhile, he was very handsome, rich and young..every woman's dream but was a big NO for me. It happens!

Anonymous said...

N u feel proud huh? @anon11:27pm. Smh...in ur small underdeveloped mind nw uv don smn big ryt?? Oya grab a medal nw, msheew

Anonymous said...

belive me, i think it a phobia, try talk to her abt it,wat she feels abt u, u can ask her friend if u feel shes aint opening up to u.
i av been tru this before,av been propose to 2ce by two different men and i regect both,
recently weneva my current boifrend is talking abt settling down my mind alwys skip, u wont belive av not even allow him to meet my parent or come to my house,and hes has introduce me to his entire family dat am his wife to be.
ofcuz not dat am dating someone else or dat i dont luv him,ofcux i do. am 28 now and am still scared of marriage. belive me i wish to get married but am just scared of it wit alot people hear dis days abt marriage. how beautiful tinz turn sour.i come from a loved family infact all my sisters are enjoying their marriage, but am just scared too. so dont blame her. just give her time and convince her u r right for her.marriage isnt relationship u can just opt out once u no more intrested. it a crose to carry foreva . ur woman know she wanna stay married foreva no matter wat, dat why shes just scared.

julit said...

maybe your banga never ripe or your bus never load.

how is it affecting u said...

U're just a retard.prince jobless my ass, get a life u bastard,besides must u comment?

how is it affecting u said...

Bros,abeg I need dat ring pass her abeg,even if no be diamond ring. One man's food is another man's poison

Anonymous said...

The girl is jes not dat into u. Buh am here tho *winks* lolzzzz

Miss G said...

29 n not ready to get married is not a crime nor is it a sin. we tend to attach so much to age wen it comes to issues like this. she who is 29 n said no is she a fool? u think she doesnt know her age? its better done right and once than rushed into.. marriage is not moi moi ooo. the end.

New said...

Saying NO to your marriage proposal doesn't mean she doesn't love you. I was in the same scenario where I said NO to my now, Fiancé when he first proposed marriage. I was basically 30. I just never wanted to make that much sacrifice for any man cuz I cherished my freedom. We were even living together, still ilare and doing the modern thing.. Marriage doesn't mean she's not just into you. Some of the best romances in the world is between unmarried couples.. If you want her still, try again in like 6 months and see if she will accept that honor.. It's special and good luck to ya!

New said...

You're so wise :)

New said...

Reading through some of the foul comments.. I'm amazed that there are so many unintelligent people with access to the Internet.. Those that troll blogs like these and make the most absurd comments about a situation they know absolutely NOTHING about! Just give the advise instead of condemning and keep it moving! Geez

Anonymous said...

She didn't say no, she said she's not ready.Those are two different statements with different meanings entirely. Her being 29, doesn't mean she has to be ready for marriage and having dated 11 months isn't long enough for you both to know and understand each other well. Obviously you don't, if her answer took you by surprise. If you really love her, believe she loves you, and believe in your relationship, that is, that it's God's will, then you should wait until she is ready. After all, you have the rest of your lives to be together. B

Anonymous said...

Same here,I'v been dating my bf now 4 over 3yrs and I know he is gonna propose very soon. I love him so much but there r so many constraint and family forces between us. I have had series of dreams of him proposing but I keep turning him down. I know if he propses 2day,its gonna b a NO but I rily do love him. I can't just bear sumtins 4 d rest of my life

Anonymous said...

Yh,u got it. My bf has cheated on me countless times,he's a very nice person but his family still controls him and I don't was a mummy's boy as a hubby. He can never say NO 2 his mum. He is so domineering, always wanting 2 check my phones,Facebook,Twitter,Mail,Bank acct statement and all dat. He js want 2 b in control of my life. Dat wouldn't av been any problem if I can as well have access 2 his Phones 2. Well,I do have access 2 all his social network accounts and bank account,but he doesn't joke wit his BB. If he forgets it in d car,he'll rush back 2 pick it immediately even wit d codes on it. So if he proposes 2day,its gonna b a NO NO NO. But I 2ruly love him 2 pieces

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with you cos my bf is rich. He can get me anytin I want but if he proposes 2 me, its gonna be a No. So it might not be because of wealth. Check ursef,ask her questions and work on ursef

Anonymous said...

E don do u, aunty Ode! U want make d whole world know sey person propose 2 u,u say No. Do u have 2 repeat it over and over again? Stay there. SMH

Anonymous said...

Many stupid people making stupid comments here, Age is nothing but a number. Not everyone is destined to settle down between the ages of 18-25,why all the hate? And when did 29 become old for a woman to get married?I hate stupid comments!

Just.tired said...

Don't rush into something like marriage. I'm 22, married for just 3months n completely miserable! This has got to be the biggest mistake of my life but I probably don't have any way out right now...he has turned into a beast, into a man I don't know... N to think I thought he was gonna get better is just laughable! Just like ur girl did, I should have said NO n spare us this HELL

Anonymous said...

annonymous 8.41am u are must be d lady in question so u wnt to keep eating his money screw him up and keep decieving him aby?so he should be waiting for an old woman lk u til u say yes aby?u must hv other agenders which u dnt wnt to tel him,y nt be plan with him instead of breaking his heart in future?i have said no to too many men in d past and once a woman takes d risk of saying no there's nothing on earth that wil mk her change her mind again cos she has some strong reasons unless u dnt ever want to be happy in that marriage as a guy,i have said no to a guy b4 and he keep perstering me around wt gifts i had no option but to start colecting til he left with a broken heart so pls my guy move on and look for a girl who wil welcm u with open arm.

Anonymous said...

Am a widow of 2...and been seeing this guy for almost 2 years...he proposed in Feb.....but i honestly didnt feel our relationship is in a good place to say yes .so the answer was no.....just because we have alot of issues to work on...communication,affection,connection etc....but guy believes am seeing someone else.
So please talk to ur gf and work on ur weak areas.....no marriage is readymade!!

SHADOW said...

I'm very sure she's seen ur acc balance and calculated dat d money no reach to do wedding sef not to talk of survive. Guy TRY to work harder if u had multimillions you wld never hear NO even Miss world wld call u baby. Make more money den u wld see ur God sent wife. So guy to guy pls send me d babes num make I try my luck I've got 250 saved k. IT IS WELL ma broda Doh

smile said...

guy this happened some few weeks ago same age with your lady ...she has someone else my was even fucked up after few days the guy showed up from the ( US ) .guy move on just that next time define what you want in your relationship from the start ....you not out to play around but out to settle down good luck ....

Unknown said...

You decide whether you still want her or not. A "no" is not all there is to it. And dnt go believing that her age matters. To some..it doesnt.. So if u really wanna be with her, make her believe it..press on.. and you may make an interesting #toaststory# on ur wedding day. Otherwise, Move on with ur life; except u r still a learner.

Anonymous said...

R u stingy ?????? Search ur self, women need men that can take care of them. Or check religion too, 2 cannot walk together except they agree

Anonymous said...

Neither u or her is to be blame here bcos we dont know the full details....but trust me marriage is not sometin we force someone into,it's a free world if she is not ready and u r ready then move on,let her know u want to move on, it's from there u will know d reason why she is not ready.....LIKE ME NO GIRL CAN FORCE ME INTO MARRIAGE WHEN AM NOT READY YET,EVEN IF MY GF GET PREGNANT THAT DOESNT MEAN WE SHOULD RUSH INTO MARRIAGE,WE HAVE TO PUT TINX IN THE RIGHT PLACE SO THAT WE CAN BOTH HAVE A HAPPY HOME.

Anonymous said...

i jst got engaged not too long ago nd wen my boyfriend as at d time asked me to marry him, i actually said i wasnt ready nt becos i didnt love him or want to be his wife, bt cos i had thing i wanted to accomplish b4 marriage. truth is talk to her and konw d reason for her hesitation.

Anonymous said...

Guy she does'nt want 2 be ur wife simple.she jus like u as her boyfriend nt a husband,am 30,i dont even hv a boy friend nt 2 talk of d 1 dat wil giv me a ring nd she's here saying no rubbish.

Anonymous said...

na wa slf, y is it dat guys dey r alwz hvin d tought dat wen dey propose 2 a lady, she wil quickly accept, witout
hesitation, maybe she nids sm tim 2 tink about it, or u tink say marriage na small tin, luk 1 has 2 b prepared 4 it okay, so let her b, mayb during ur courtship she saw som atitude of urs dat she nids 2 consider, so my dr dnt b surprice, marriage is nt wat u wil rush into, u can c wat is happenin 2 marriages of dese days, d way it kips breakin up! so my dr pls b patience okay, giv her sm tim, n u 2 tink over it veri wel.

Anonymous said...

A girl at 29 not ready for marriage. At what age will she be ready,pls my broda move on n stop waisting time. Longer throat girls.

Makz said...

@ 32 siddon there & be pretending. My boss at work is 52yrs & she no marry. She never smiles, now that I'm pregnant she's always on my case, unnecessary things provoke her. Abegi marry so u won't frustrate innocent pple in d future.

Anonymous said...

U tuk d words rite out of mi lips,hw can dey jst comment on tins dey knw notin abt. And to dos fools commenting on d size of d guys manhood,ur'all so dumb.

emeka chris said...

Its nothing new,you only need to check yourself and access if you would marry you if you were in her shoes. 11 months is too short to understand each other and dont take it personal when she say no again. You have two options one is to repropose later and the other is to move on. Best of luck bro...

Anonymous said...

Err...you need to talk to her and stop asking strangers on LIB who are not in your relationship. Just because she's 29 doesn't mean she's automatically going to say yes. Is it that she's not ready to settle down with anyone (in which case that may be problematic) or she's not ready to settle down with you OR is it that she thinks it's too soon? 11 months is not exactly a long time to know a person before you marry them even if the woman is 35. Some of these people that get married after 6 months have good marriages but generally speaking you should know a person for a lot longer before you get engaged

Anonymous said...

Do Ɣ☺ΰ have t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊ insult him to Tђξ extent of calling him a bastard, sometimes I wonder when I read Ɣ☺ΰ all comments especially regarding prince jobless Ūя̲̅ attracting him Tђξ necessary attention α̲̅πϑ dats y his goin on α̲̅πϑ on, his entitled t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊ his own opinions, α̲̅πϑ note I see he enjoys all Ūя̲̅ cristise for its his way of unwinding

Anonymous said...

Ooollll booyyy, na wa to u ooo. Haba u propose and she say no na im u dey confused? Na awoofff chop be dat na. Just dey chop am dey go and use style dey look for another better chick. Go and watch "How 2 b a player". Use her dey form and other better chicks go dey trip 4 u, then when u get a better gal drop her 4 dat one simple. Chicks dey every where ooo. Na u pocket.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.... Wonders shall never end. Woman not even girl tell u NO and u dont know what 2 do. That means u r a MUNTULLA. My friend go get a younger babe and enjoy ur self, the right girl go come along in no time jor.

Apple said...

My dear brother, first of all it is not by force , second of all, she is seeing some one else, third of all, she believe's she can find some one better. Do yourself a favour by moving on, after all you guys do it all the time!

Anonymous said...

Brova..shez seeing someone else ãήϑ dis guy has been in her life fO̶̷̩̥̊͡Я yrs..don't knw how she managed ãήϑ u didn't knw abt him..†̥ђe̶̲̥̅ truth here Ȋ̝̊̅§..she dosnt love u as much as she loves †̥ђe̶̲̥̅ oda guy...†̥ђe̶̲̥̅ oda guy Ȋ̝̊̅§ not ready datz y she also claiming shez not..let †̥ђe̶̲̥̅ guy propose in few wks or mths..u will be suprised shez getting married..my brova * e ja ara yin*..A.J

Anonymous said...

My brother, as a single guy the question is HOW MANY GIRLS R U DATING NOW? Try this, get 4 diffrent girls to add to her. If she dosnt make up her mind i bet u one of those new chicks will give u a better deal. Man no dey wait 4 woman or r u not a Nigerian man?

XL avenue said...

You no get MONEY thats why. Na lie? If u get Money she cant fit say no. And may be u be lazy man. It is said that women see men's future clearer than the men. Look 4 Money first then come ask her again, that is if she fit wait. But then again sorry ohh, i never see this kain one, Men dey run for marriage proposal from women and in ur case its the other way round. Check urself guy.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes he must... What business of u is it? Y'all hating dis kid will just kill urselves one day wit bitterness. U need none 2 tel u 'all he meant was for the man to move on wit his life and look 4 someone else'. Is she the only woman on earth? Thr are lots of decent ladies out thr who wldnt turn him down. See as dis small pikin dey succeed in making u guys furious. Idle fools. If u y'all are busy, u wldnt notice his comments. Besides all u are supposed 2 do on dis blog is to read the story, drop ur comment and find urself somtin important to do. Anu ohia.

Ams.

Anonymous said...

Common Nigger, This niggress knows something about you she ain't ready to live with, or she is just being a loser. get your ass together and fucking move on...There is more to life than just letting some chick fake reality with you mehn.

Anonymous said...

hehehehe...see d mumu ooo, na whu laff last dey laff wella ooo, abi ur dumb papa no learn dat 1 to pass am on to u? Husbands wey scarce na im sumpple c dey mumu deirselves. By d tym wey u go dey move from Jehovah sharp sharp to Olumba Olumba dat bros go dey with im family dey laff. Whu go kon be d fool? Think dumbass!!

Anonymous said...

all dis gurlz wey dey blabb 4 here, una neva read isaiah 4:1? Abi d problem na say ur brain nah fit process dat simple fact? U see, dis is y it's so nt encouragin to play mr Nice Guy, dem go use u play tire. Bro if i were u i wuld jst assume i neva proposed. I wuld go on with my lyf and as though nothing so horrifyin happend. Chase more gurls, brk more hearts, tear more valves n catch all d cruise!!!

Anonymous said...

That is what Nigerian or generally black girls say when they are jiggling two maggas and the magga with less money proposes. There is a bigger, richer magga she is waiting for to propose. If he doesn't, then she would suddenly be ready to marriage to u. Face it brov, the girl u've been dating all this while is a ho, move on.

Anonymous said...

Signs of a typical runs girl...aka bread

Anonymous said...

She's not that into you homie, move on..she probably feels you are not that financially stable yet.

Ozymandias said...

Na wa o. Babe say no, u dey ask us y? She doesn't want to marry u na!
But seriously, just forget her, move on and thank God she's doing this now cos 1000 failed relationships are still better than one failed marriage.
Cheer up, u'll sure find the right one.

stormygee said...

She has the right to refuse ur marriage proposal, her age notwithstanding . Dunno y pip think dt gals of a certain age shud say aye to any marriage proposal. Mtcheeew ! Find out from her the reasons for the rejection if you really wanna mk her ur wife. Being open is d key to a healthy relationship.

Anonymous said...

pray hard

Anonymous said...

I ve bin datin a rich guy 4 abt 3yrs nw n even done introduction bt its obvious 2 me dat we r nt compartible n I told him wldnt wnt 2 go on wit d wedding nt bcos there is som1 else bt bcos I c d marriage isn't goin 2 last ,we alwz ve clashing intrest in everytin intially tot it ws goin 2 get beta bt it kips worsening n d best tin I tot ws 2 save us of future heart break.so its nt abt moni,som1 else or age cos am above 25.so sit bak n ask ursef n ask her som questtions den u wil find d reasons y she turned dwn ur proposal.marriage its for lyf it cn make u or destroy u.

Unknown said...

hey dude!...u should be happy,she just gave u another opportunity to explore further meeeehhhhn!!forget her and move the f**k on bro!

Anonymous said...

11 months is too quick to ask a girl to marry you tho! wait a lil bit more and ask her again.

Financial stability could aslo be an important factor. I wouldn't marry a man that aint ready. We aint finna spend my money for both of us. lol

Anonymous said...

Trust me she is ready bt she doesn't see it hapun wit u or she is considering weda or not she can cope wit certain attitudes or xtics u possess. Talk2 her. Ask her to open up to u.

Unknown said...

oga ooo....i feel for you brosie!!

Anonymous said...

maybe shez waiting for another edwin clark that want to remarry at 86

Anonymous said...

The Girl is Very Mindful.. LMAO!! Move on Mehn... And seriously TF is She waiting for?

Anonymous said...

@anon11:27 lmao, by dia talk/reasoning you shall know them. You are obviously a child to think what you did was funny. Guessing your developmental age's 15yrs ish. N:B if your chronological age is 19yrs or greater then your're mildly retarded.

Unknown said...

@ my boss is still unmarried at 52. It is only ur boss that can say why she is frustrated. ama still unmarried at 32 and i am not frustatrted. I will not say that I dont feel lonley sometimes but I know that if I never get married, it is not because I did runs girls or snatched someone's husband in my younger years. It was because it simply wanst meant to be. Those who are frustrated know why they are. I started getting proposals as early as 22 and I rejected them all simply because I wasnt ready neither did I know what I wanted out of life. How then could I have made my husband and children happy if I had rushed into marriage then? I mite not be married now, but I am so proud of d woman I have become. So pls LIBers, it is not everyone who is desperate and insecure.

Anonymous said...

Na wa, women are really suffering in naija. So because she is 29 she should say yes to any man that proposes, just to escape society. May God help us ladies in this country.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is not everything..If you are not psychologically and emotionally ready, please don't get married.. There are people wishing they did not marry their partners because they are misrable... Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured.... Its better to be single than be in a loveless marriage!

Anonymous said...

ok,av bin in this situation nd i feel she doesnt want u but she doesnt wanna let go so as not to lose @ d end,she is using you to wait for the arrival of the right person so she wont brk up wit u until dat person coms,nd she wont yield 2 ur proposal either,so d best tin 4 u to d is move on without her or u can do to her wat she is doin 2 u,which is search 4 d rite prsn aswell nd still hold on to her until dat right persn says yes.but i'd advice u let her go cos its a waste of time on both sides.nd dont tink ur timin is early for marriage isnt "aw far but aw well",those dat re in it for years re still learning

MlleP said...

I can relate and I understand. For some people its really easy and they look forward to it, but for others its just not like that. Give her time or move on. Its ur choice

Anonymous said...

LIBers amaze me alot anyway a few sensible ones have said it all hope you will be wise to pick the best advice which is to ask her why in a very calm environment. she may not be seeing some else as most LIBers assume. secondly 29yrs does not stand for yes to every proposal also 11mths is not too small in my opinion. For all of you saying that money is the solution, well i pity u all cause the day you loss that money all that love goes i hope you realise and there is nothing permanent so dont think that money cant go 1day.

loveDoctor said...

Guy may u get mouth odour d tym u dey propose. Go soak ur mouth for H2O wash am wit hypo den go bak go propose u go c d magic. NXT PLZ...

Unknown said...

That is her Final answer, and there is nothing you can do about it. Omo, please find your level o. Don't settle for a 'managing' marriage o.

Unknown said...

That is her Final answer, and there is nothing you can do about it. Omo, please find your level o. Don't settle for a 'managing' marriage o.

wonderman said...

That means you are the other guy, thank your stars that you did not propose to her in public.

Anonymous said...

that epic moment u thought u were the main guy and decided to propose to her...then u realized u were only the side piece when she refused ur proposal...bro, she's a runs girl...this is a sign so u better usain bolt...

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