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Saturday 18 June 2011

Can a man do this?

This sounds made up, but I promise you it's true. Someone I know is ending his 9year old marriage. I asked him why he's walking away, and he said because his wife went and got pregnant again. They have three kids and he said they had agreed not to have anymore children after the second one was born. According to him, before he married his wife, he told her he wanted only two kids, and after the second child was born, he begged her to go have her tubes tied, which she promised she was going to do, but didn't. He said he almost walked away from the marriage when the third child was born three years ago, but decided to forgive her. But not this time, he said.

I'm looking at him like "Ni**a, you gotta be shitting me, right? All this sh*t coming out of your mouth is a joke right?" and he said "I'm serious Linda, I'm done with this marriage. I told her no more kids and she went and did it again. I never wanted more than two children, I can't deal with four. She's on her own, I'm done!"

Is this guy serious? Have you guys ever heard anything like this before? How can you ask a woman to tie her womb because YOU don't want anymore kids? Abi, is this how it works in marriages? I'm not married so this is a little confusing for me. Should a man dictate how many children there should be in a family? And then, does he have a right to tell his wife to tie her tubes? Someone please tell me this guy is sick in the head.

67 comments:

Anonymous said...

if he didn't want any more kids, why did He not have the vasectomy?

Jacqueline Shiweobi said...

I'm Married and i think d guy is just lookn 4 an excuse. its pissing me off sef..let me at him. let me teach him a lesson. i'm a mother too and just can't fathom it and i feel bad 4 d woman
No Mother deserves this kind of treatment and pls if i may ask why did he not do a Vasectomy??. Onye ma ihe

Anonymous said...

Na u go they feed and pay them school fees abi??

Allegra said...

There is nothing wrong in couples agreeing number of children they wish to have but if he does not want anymore kids, then, he should get a vasectomy.

Whaa? said...

Satan punish him!! If it was so important why didn't he get a vasectomy?? This mess just pissed me the hell off...men and their foolishness. Selfish bugga. Ko ni ragba fun...mschewwwwwwww

SitePaddy said...

lol ok dis is so funny cos its so silly but serious too. i dnt think one person shuld determine d number of kids. u shuld both agree on it. from d story, he is of the opinion dat d woman agreed with him before d marriage so now shes not abiding to d agreement. however, u cant force her to tie her tubes cos its her body. dat being said, if ur really big on d number of kids den he shuld hve stopped having sex, or use protection or as anon 8.42 said got a vasectomy. if d man thinks he can only cater to 2 or 3 kids den i see nothing wrong dere cos we dnt need anymore uncared for kids but he has no reason to be mad except he feels d wife is purposely doing this for a senseless reason cos u cant be playing games with kids

Anonymous said...

Yea why not let the Bitch deal with the kids since she use wants to turn the house into a baby making factory..abeg 4 kids do you know how much school fees is..Nigga walk abeg

Anonymous said...

lol @ anon 8:42pm. I have heard of issues like this where one of the couples did not want children and made his/her intention known to the other partner, they agreed but after the marriage, the other partner then decides he/she wants a child..usually happens with couples abroad but it seems this is coming closer to home now. I agree with comments that if the guy doesn't want a child he should have a vasectomy instead of the woman tying her womb....God forbid but what if something happens to him, she remarries and then wants another baby..but because she has tied her womb for him she wont be able to for her new husband..just saying.he shouldn't be so selfish.instead he should go have his vasectomy.

LadyNgo said...

The guy is a fool, full stop! If he only wanted x-number of kids he should have stopped having sex with her (unrealistic), used condoms (still pretty unrealistic) or had a vasectomy after they reached that number. That way he can't go impregnating anyone he may be sleeping with (if u get my meaning.)

I do think that how many kids you want is a conversation that married couples should have. But i don't think it should be "I only want 2 kids so 2 kids is all you better ever pop out" Especially since the man isn't the one that gets pregnant anyway.

CerebrallyBusy said...

he is mad. did she have sex with herself? was it her sperm that fertilized the egg? so it's okay for him to tell her to get her tubes tied but not okay for him to get a vasectomy?
his problem can be easily solved.
No more children? okay, stop having sex or get a vasectomy. simple.

Anonymous said...

Why didn't he get a vasectomy if it was that important to him? Or at the very least use a condom? Please. He's looking for an excuse to walk away from the marriage and abandon his responsibilities to his children. He should at least have the balls to just say so and leave.

Moi Meme said...

Ode...Nigga please...he was just looking for a slight reason to call it quits, call a spade a spade, and dont suffer the poor woman, has he evr heard of a vasectomy?? meanwhile other people are dying to have one, matter of fact he should thank God that he has the 3, what if he wasnt able to have those ke? Matter of fact linda if this is your friend you need to disOWN him! lol

Anonymous said...

You might seem surprised ,but this issue is affecting so many homes today.For goodness sake if they agreed on the number of children, why is she going against his will? The issue here is not the number of kids but trust,respect and obedience.
It is only a foolish woman that will tie her womb,there are alternatives to that nowadays.
My problem with the modern nigerian woman is that she feels she has rights that must be asserted. Unfortunately she loses out, whereas our mothers were very obedient and at the end of the day they were in control of the game.

orange said...

I don't see any reason why she should go against their agreement. Marriage is about agreement and it takes two to tango. What I however find unacceptable is the fact that he asked her to tie her tube. He should have done a vasectomy or used rubber as an extra precaution when he found out that his wife could not stick to their agreement. That man is a good man. He only want the number of kids he can cater for. So he will be able to take proper care of them. She should get her family members and her inlaws to mediate on her behalf so her husband can come back home. But really, a spouse who cannot keep to a simple agreement cannot be trusted. If she wants more kids, she should.have just discussed it with her husband and come to a conclusive agreement.

hot N cold said...

If they agreed on 2 then why make it 4? Let's learn to do things right. She should have learned her lesson after the 3rd one. There's no need for a vasectomy nor knotting the tubes. There are other methods of contraception*yawn*

Damola said...

baby food, pampers, crying all night, nannies, food, extra of everything, another bigger car, more housing space, then big one, schooling. Do you know the cost of sending a 2yr, 3yr, 4yr, 5yr old to school in Nigeria?..lets say the dude is a big boy and earns 500k per month. pays average rent cost of about 120k per month for say a 4 bedroom, remains about 380k, pays about 100k for car loan, remains 280k, quarterly school fees for existing 3 children is like 120k per month, ( cost about 120-2000k in most OK schools in Lagos per term).. remains: 130k, fuel for house not included, clothing and accessories not included, no planning for future, maybe to buy a house or go to school..how does he feed, can they go out once in a while?.. does he woman earn that much.... this does not include payment to nanny.. See, Na God dey take care of children..

naso said...

but the woman sef...why she agree to tie her womb in the place...she for talk from the beginning say she no go do dat kain rubbish from the beginning instead of lying...but this nigga is hella wrong for leaving her though...he planted the seeds so he should take care of em

Anonymous said...

This same man that is saying this would give another woman outside belle after his wife has tied her tubes.I don't think any woman should agree to tie her tubes knowing that reproductive life for women is limited.Besides, tubal ligation is irreversible except she has money for ivf unlike vasectomy that has atleast some chance of successful reversal.
There are other methods of contraception now why didn't madam use one?Unless she planned it wella.....

palmwinelife said...

What he's about to do is wrong on so many levels. If he doesn't want kids he has three choices: a-stop having sex; b-wear a condom or c-get a vasectomy. By the way, haven't the wife heard of two inventions called a diaphragm and birth control pills/patch?

Anonymous said...

Guess the guy is looking for an excuse to work away.there's no big deal in agreeing on the no of children is it dat she did other fam planin n it failed or wat.I don't agree to her tiein her womb dat guy is very selfish if he want somtin permanent he shd get a vasectomy den.

I4ma said...

I can't Imagine having more than 3 children( I neva take care of myself finish) I remember almost choking on my hot Boli when I heard my cousin recently gave birth to her 5th child maka why? Dat said, I think his stance on the situation is rash, but Mama baby u should have respected ur husband's wish na birth control method plenty nah

Anonymous said...

He is an african man and he must dictate what happens in his house thats how to be a man.

Anonymous said...

That woman is stubborn and deserves to be taught a lesson. If the guy was firm in wanting only two kids she should not have married him. I cant blame the guy he said what he wanted and the trickster wants to thwart him, she deserve what she gets, i mean there are guys who want 12 kids, why cant she go for such, she just walked in front of a moving train. How Sad

Anonymous said...

VASECTOMY, VASECTOMY, VASECTOMY....Nigerian men that is the answer if you don't want any more children. If he is worried about doing that then don't blame the woman. There is nothing like going against any agreement. They are both grown people that know what sex without protection or other safety measures can lead to pregnancy. If the woman does not want the tubes tied or want to go on birth control pills because of associated risks since both agreed on two and it seems more important to the man then I say get a VASECTOMY.

They are both responsible for those kids and only an irresponsible man would choose divorce and neglect as the answers.

NaijaScorpio said...

The marriage don tire am since. Anyway, i've heard of men who instead their wives get abortions because they don't want more kids. They just don't walk away from the marriage.

She on the other hand should have gotten an IUD if she doesn't want to get pregnant. Those things are good for 5 years and she can keep renewing it every 5 years. I'm sorry for the woman cos she married a shitty man.

Special One said...

I'll say both parties should be blamed but having said that, there is this silly poverty mentality in Nigeria when it comes to making babies. I personally believe it is a wise idea to plan your lives together. I have witnessed one in the past where the wife actually lied to her husband that she had a tube inserted in her arm (contraception)...am sure you ladies know this. This is to prevent her from getting pregnant but guess what!? She got pregnant and when the husband asked she said ermm! I didn't go to the doctor because I want one more child. I am sorry but that's utterly senseless. Everything revolves around finances. Some are lucky that they make millions monthly while some have to survive on a few thousands and paying endless bills. I bet that woman can't do such nonsense if she's living overseas. The cost of childcare will send the whole family living on the pavement!....I see a lot of women saying ill things about the man but if you have a serious talk with your partner agreeing to number of children. why will you do otherwise. The man's wrong doing is he should have made sure they attended a doctor's appointment together to discuss their possible options regarding contraceptives....I can imagine the guy is like any average Nigerian...maintaining 4 kids is a lot!....this is my lil' contribution

Tycoon! said...

LOL @ "I told her no more kids and she went and did it again"....... sounds like she went and brought the pregnancy from outside. man are you crazy? Why didn't castrate himself after the second baby? Why only ask the woman to tie her tubes? That sounds selfish to me sha!

Anonymous said...

why didn't he tie his own tubes. its cheaper, quicker(less than 30min) and easier for men to do it; foolish man.

Anonymous said...

Linda,don't act so dumb.this is real.
As a matter of fact,i have placed a similar embargo on my wife.The only thing stopping me from doing a vasectomy is my fear for operations.
Infact, i will still get around to doing it pretty soon.
The problem is that the wife deceived him,not once but twice.people have pictures of how they want their families to be.some we can control,some we can't.you just can't go around popping out kids and think it does not matter.
if the man refused sleeping with her now,she will complain.use condom,she will frown,die tubes,she will scheme and lie.what do you want him to do?
i now two women who told their wives they tied their tubes but just before being put to sleep in theatre they convinced the O&G doctor to discard the idea.
the husbands think tubes are tied and are firing away,meanwhile wife has another agenda.
this thing is not a light matter to be joked about.

Anonymous said...

I hope your friend now knows there is a male contraception pill. He should have bought it and used it.

Myne said...

He should've gone to tie HIS tubes!

While they both should agree on the number of children in the family, he cannot dictate what she does with HER body.

Was HE even using birth control like condoms?

Anonymous said...

he didnt want more kids,y didnt he stop having sex..ahhh..u wanna enjoy and nt face some type of consequences..

Anonymous said...

some of you commenting here have never had a child and seem not to understand that an agreement involves two parties.
the fact that it was his idea does not mean that she did not agree to it.why did she play a fast one on him afterwards.having a child as sweet as it is,reorganises your whole family life for years.have you bought pampers,wipe and paid school fees?
you think the guy wants to use napkin and send his kids to community primary school?
the question of vasectomy does not come in to it,this is a breach of agreement,you girls in this blog are always asking women to leave,now a man wants to leave and you are ranting.

Dusk said...

Atimes d selfishness of some men s mind-bogglin'.
And 4 doz of u sayin 'Y dd she go against d agreement'...U tink she tuk in to spite the man?It cld hav bin a mistak,u knw?Y de man no go do vasectomy?Afta al,its reversibl whereas tubal ligation/hysterectomy isnt!!!

Alicia says... said...

THIS GUY IS A BIG FOOL! IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO! what was he expecting when his wife didn't have her tubes tied, YET he was still having unprotected sex with her? this fool knew her tubes weren't tied, yet he was still having sex with her. i dont see why he is acting surprised. i agree that this is just a reason to walk away. but think about it, THOSE KIDS ARE HIS FLESH AND BLOOD! why abandon the kids because of the mother? he will grow up to regret it. if he leaves her and the kids, then what? will he remarry and have TWO MORE KIDS or will he go the rest of his life wondering??? this guy is obviously NOT thinking. foolish man.
if he was so bent on only having two kids, then there are many steps he himself could have taken to prevent all of this.
FOOLISH MAN!!!

Anonymous said...

You guys wont understand until you are in the guys shoes. Taking care of kids nowadays no be beans....It is a serious mata. An agreement made by the two should have been abided with. No problem though, the woman should take up the responsibility of the baby...garbesh!

Kemiismyrealname said...

It's an unfortunate situation but if they agreed on just 2 children.......why will she mess up like this. It speaks a lot about the character of the woman. There is nothing like vasectomy in this o. She agreed on the arrangement and she knew she would not keep her word.

I know a friend who agreed with her man that they would not have kids. The guy was very adamant and even told her family and friends that he was not that way inclined and could not/would not deal with children. We all warned her, but she went ahead and got married. All of us sat back and waited for the story to begin. After two years, Ijebu girl carried belle. Her thinking being, 2 years into the marriage they were tight. As soon as she born the pickin, the guy filed for divorce sighting irreconcilable differences. All of us told her...WE TOLD YOU SO.

Why do people do things like this expecting that they will just manipulate their way around situations? it is unfortunate for the lady o, but she was warned.

Anonymous said...

1) selfish of him to ask her to tie her tubes
2) fraudulent of her to spring pregnancy on a partner who doesn't want it. She didn't have to tie her tubes but she could have used birth control. There is IUD etc
3) an agreement is an agreement regarding number of kids unless you mistakenly get pregnant. In this case, it seems like it was deliberate on her part. an agreement is an agreement. If any party wants it otherwise, u can negotiate with the other party. it is an agreement even if it was to have no kids. If u meet a man who says he wants no kids - then u make ur choice b4 whether to marry him or not. U can judge his decision or call it foolish. I want 4 kids and people think I'm foolish in this age & time.
4) a child is a child is a child. He can't walk out on her for that. that is too extreme even though it might be irritating. But if he knows he has a wife that is capable of such fraud (which is how i see it), then he needs to be responsible for the birth control if he wants to continue having sex with her.

N.I.L (Naijamum in London) said...

Linda, the guy is not sick. he is just a crafty little twit. He has been looking for a way to escape since. As for the woman sef, she no try too.

The man reminds me of useless Naija men who are quick to shout 'I DISOWN YOU!' as soon as their child commits a little offence. From experience, it is usually the men who are struggling to meet parental responsibilities that are quick to do this.

As for the woman, please advice her that s*x is not only for reproduction.

Anonymous said...

i think he's just looking for an excuse to leave d marriage..cuz his reasons are foolish to me..this is marriage and not a mere relationship..i am sure one small is in d background pushing him to take these crazy actions

Anonymous said...

i think there has to be a mutual understanding on everything before two people get to the point of getting married.They were both wrong in this case.since the man didnt want anymore kids,the woman should have respected that and not start making unwanted babies like a baby factory and the man doesnt have the right to tell the woman to get her tubes tied,since it was him who has issues with more kids he should have considered a vasectomy!From the beginning if the woman knows she cant stop at 2 then she should have opted out and not try deceive the man afterall it is all about compatibility.

Anonymous said...

Foolish man. Some people walk away from their wife for not having children, him walk away because she have another child. na wah.

Anonymous said...

No need for long story:

This your friend is either cheating or he "agreed" to 2 kids with his wife because he wants the option of fathering more kids with another woman. OR BOTH.

Naija Doll said...

that's just a weak excuse to leave the marriage...Yes its costly to have more children but was he sleeping while they were having unprotected sex? smh! He can be pissed at her but they're still his flesh and blood. Did he forget that the children will grow up one day and how they would feel about him. He can't control what she does with her body but he can certainly control what he does with his...Vasectomy!

Anonymous said...

It seems like there was a prior agreement and the guy let it go once and a second time just seems to him like enough. This day and age kids are expensive so I can definitely see where the man is coming from if he can't care for four kids he cant and he gave her warning before marriage so its not like he said it out of no where and the woman sef is pushing it just because he forgave you the first time doesn't mean he will the second time. On the man's part sha I understand people are saying why didn't he get a vasectomy. Truth is those things aren't reversible and God forbid something happens to a child of theirs, they can produce again. Getting her tubes tied seems more of a reasonable idea because to my knowledge (I could be wrong) I believe those can be reversed when the woman pleases.

I feel like the woman knew what she was doing. It was a case of tell him what he wants to hear and when we marry I will do things my way but she is getting the shock of her life now. If the man gave her warning before marriage he is doing nothing wrong. If she knew she wanted four kids, she should have voiced that out before marriage but she was probably just happy to be marrying and in a hurry to do so that she didn't realize the seriousness of what he said. The man probably made plans for his life with two kids in mind so he can provide properly for them and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

its true that if the wife consented to only having two kids that she "breach the agreement" (na contract be dat? sh*t happens abi) but what is leaving the family home going to solve for this guy? Are those not his children?
Ok, raising kids is not cheap, we all know that. But i still believe dat if na the man who don want certain number pikin, its is also him who should take the preventive measures. How can you fix ur mouth to say the woman should do this or that when it is you that doesn't want more children? After the first slip-up he should've just gottent he vasectomy then.

Anonymous said...

Since he's the one that is so pressed about not having kids, he should have had his tube tide by having a vasectomy. But of course, the oppressive Naija man in him could not do that and instead he demanded that his wife alter her body irrevocably by tying his tube. What a jerk!

Anonymous said...

Yes, he should totally leave her. It is called betrayal of trust. He trusted that she would keep to her words but she didnt. It is not about this particular matter at hand but it shows that she cannot be trusted!

Anonymous said...

you've gotta be hella retarded to think the woman played a "fast one" on him. For the love of Christ the moron put the sperm in her that fertilized the egg... Good Lord.. This display of stupidity strengthens my opinion that husbands that act like dictators are ignorant...Marriage is between two people and there should be compromise or you'll just be wasting each other's time.. Nuff said

Looseitshedit said...

ok, lets look at this in a realistic point of view. i am married and before i got married, i wanted two children, but my husband wanted three. wen discussed as a family and we later agreed on three and nothing more. we we have two kids for now.
lets face it, nigeria is hard, for you to give your kids the best of life, u have to know your limits. maybe this guy we are talmking about does not even earn more than 100k a month. come to think of it, SMA progress is how much now, its like 3,800 a tin, and baby will finish it within three days. diapers, clothing, etc not to talk about school fees. for ur child to go to the very best, as in play group is like 70-80k a term where i stay.
what am saying is that the women would have respected the husbands wishes after the third child.
And the husband, you should have insisited that your wife goes on pills if she does not feel comfortable with tieing her womb.or the man would have done vasectomy.
walking away from the marriage is the the best option, what about the kids, they are young and in innocent. i will advise you forgive your wife, take her to a doctor for family planning and believe in God.

dimjoejizle said...

CONTRACEPTIVES CONTRACEPTIVES.........Is not expensive for a woman ooo.......not more than N400

Formerly stealth reader said...

the wife is an idiot, the husband is a bigger idiot and now the kids will pay for their mothers' stupidity and their fathers' selfishness. the man could have gotten a vasectomy its an out patient procedure while a tubal ligation is a MAJOR surgery, i am tired of selfish nigerian men who refuse to get sterilized and yet expect a woman to get her tubes tied not considering that it is a huge surgery to get your tubes tied (i have witnessed this surgery many times and its not minor)and the risks are a lot more than with a simple vasectomy.
with d 3rd pregnancy it should have become obvious to him that his wife wasnt going to keep to the agreement of 2 kids he should have:
accompanied her to hospital to get injectable birth control that lasts as long as 5 years or an iud or the best
gone to get a vasectomy simple!
two bodies come together to make a baby, the woman shouldnt always be expected to hold the responsibility for contraception.
conclusion: he is a bigger fool than his mrs, they deserve each other....and i hope he reads these comments...pompous ass!

diva said...

he's the one that is raising the kids, so yes, in a way, he has more say on how many kids he wants/expects. the woman should have jst listened and gone for the contraceptive procedure since she knws that she is highly fertile. i dnt blame the man for being mad but still its not a good reason for one to end a marriage

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed at these comments as most of them are directed at the man.Let me ask,how many of you here are parents? Like ify said,its not easy to take care of a child with nigerian conditions,if you want the best for them.abi do u want ur kids in ebute metta high school,where they play half of the day?.u guys tink its just having sex and popping babies? the moment u have a child,its no longer bout you.which is why i think the woman in question is not only selfish but plain dumb.i bet she makes no financial contribution to the home.its not a question of her tying her tube or him having a vasec but of MUTUALLY agreeing to a set of terms and conditions and sticking to it.i mean nobody wants their vital body parts tampered with in any way.they could have just agreed and found alternatives that are win-win.the more reason why she is selfish and dumb is because the man almost walked out after the 3rd child.she shud have realised the seriousness of the situation and just stopped.yes,walking away is wrong.rather i'd advise that the man stay but this time around the responsibilities(financial,emotional,physcological and all other cals) are goin to be shared. u want more babies,then get the money to take care of them.and rather than pointing fingers,i expect that everyone here sees this real-life scenario as food for thots.when they say marriage is not a bed of roses,its no joke!

Unknown said...

it's just an unfortunate reality dat most nigerian men ar only useful for reproductn and not much else.all u folks who ar cryin dat caring for a child is costly,do u rememba dat when u dole out large portions of ur salary for weekly doses of lap dances at strip clubs?do u rememba dat when u pay daily pilgrimages to unilag hostels 2 see ur financially insatiable mistresses n sugar daughtas?pathetic losers!

mrs udy said...

my husband sat me down and told me he would love to hve just two kids initally i found it strange but with my health complications i had one , from maintaing our daughter , paying school fees , going to about 217 a term , then the extras , i am relieved i adhered , the economy here in nigeria has not been friendly , so why cause problem for yourself by getting pregnat , na ogi, akara, public schools where you have 40 in a class you wan dey go , na okrika , you wan wear aaaaabeg . mr i no do again you for zip the trousers now abi eeeh no sweet u , yeye man running away from challenges when those children become better pickins na you go first show

Anonymous said...

respect is one of the essential ingredients of a healthy marriage.

if the woman did not want two children she should have taken a walk when the husband told her at first.

since the man is so passionate about this issue am sure he would have really stressed it at the begining, but she decided to turn a blind eye.

i am yet to see a couple that did not discuss the number of kids they want to have before or after their wedding.

Given, mistakes do happen that is why he suggested she ties her womb, but she ignored him. he forgave her after the third child, note HE DID NOT WALK AWAY after this betrayal and she did it again!! Haba Children are not rats raising them takes a great deal, and the fewer you have the more quality upbringing you can give them.
In most family planning clinics, contraceptives available are mostly for the woman, people ps get real, VASECTOMY?? this is Irreversible. a woman can always tie and untie her womb if she wants more children.

but for the kids sake, the man should forgive as it has already happened while our baby factory should please visit a family planning clinic!!

Fanstuff said...

I know of a Nigerian couple that went through the same thing. They agreed to have just two and she got pregnant for a third child. He walked away from the marriage and when they asked him, he said they had agreed to have two, the lady lied and that lie cost them their marriage. Each to their own oh!

I know of another popular couple in Lagos that wanted just three. The girl has three girls and wanted a fourth and hoping for a boy. The hubby said no, that let them manage the three girls they have. The girl is a schemer because she knows her mum-in-law was craving for a male grandchild from her first son. Pronto, she had a fourth girl. The hubby has embraced the child but if i know this girl well, she will try for a 5th one.

alleny said...

D woman is d mad one here. for Goodness sake, they had a mutual agreement, why then is d wife going against d husbands wish???, D woman should be made to cater for the 4 children make her eye open, U guys think its easy to manage a family??? D world has gone past time of too many children, nowadays even d rich give birth 2 a limited no. of children and give them d best. I am a woman but I support d man all d way. d woman is such a fool.

Anonymous said...

The guy has other kids elsewhere.

Queen Erics said...

I know someone close who left his wife bcos of a similar issue, (he wanted 2, she bore 3) got married to anther and had 2 kids with the 2nd wife. Right now the kata kata wey dey im head no be small issue as he is catering for 5 kids instead of 3, He tries to justify his mess with " i have at least thought her a lesson " And i laugh each time i hear that ... Who dey teach who my pple?

The 2nd family who is even closer to me had the same issue. After having 2 girls the guy said he's ok and advised the wife to tie her womb, Being Ibo the wife felt that no "oyibo mentality" can save her when her inlaws will unleash their attack for an heir as her hubby is the ist child. She went ahead to get preggers and this almost destroyed her marriage. It took the intervention of her mother inlaw who took her in, fed her for a few months (till her husband calmed down) to save the marriage. Afterwards she gave birth to a boy and her husband was overjoyed. Her boy is 5 now And she and her hubby are still together.Her BP which was on the constant rise after her 2nd baby and hubby's susequent proclamtion has also receeded.

So linda such is life! One question remains to be answered (by your friend) Who is he leaving the wife for? A single lady: she will DEF want a baby someday, A divorcee: She PROBABLY has some kids of her own Or a semi old lady ( forgive the adj) whose mid-life crises is more wahala than another kid plus she might want marriage and kids and all as yrs go by.

He should really look before taking a leap.

So whats it gonna be dude?
confided in me that

chigo said...

oh hoooo!
So the woman has achieved the unachievable and has cracked the code on "how to impregnate yourself". Oh please let the fool walk. He badly wants to and is hanging on to the lame excuse.
As for tubal ligation...he seems quite informed on that, he should know that its a two way street. 'SHE refused to tie her tubes; HE doesnt want more children. seriously!!!
I know doctors that would tie his tubes, and its an outpatient procedure sef!!!

Anonymous said...

abeg everytime them go the tell women to do family planning what about the men? pls men find out about vasectomy or use condoms. I ve told my husband wen we ve the number we agreed on na same day we go do d family planning togetherbi get a btl and he gets a vasectomy case closed.

B4 Nko?! said...

1. A vasectomy is an out patient procedure, snip snip, in and out.

2. Use a condom if you don't want anymore children.

3. Take responsibility for yourself and don't blame your wife because you weren't on your game.

4. Linda and Moi Meme - using the N word...really? Really? Wow! This garners you no cool points whatsoever. This is a very derogatory word and though some people feel using it lessens it's power, I think it actually enforces it. Noone who knows the history of that word and how many people died fighting to NOT be called that word would throw it around so casually. Very Very Very uncool!

Anonymous said...

Linda, abeg tell this your friend to be quiet and start acting like a man. Has his wife been getting herself pregnant? As easy as it is for him to be demanding for someone else to have an operation on their body and spoil her chances of having kids in future, since he is the one that does not want any more kids, let him have a vasectomy, chop off his child-producing life-line and more kids will never be a problem for him again. Please leave the woman and her womb / tubes alone. when your head scatter in future and you pull another stunt, she needs her tubes intact to born pikin for another man. Abi you don't think that we women know your game plan. Why are you harassing her to tie her tubes tie her tubes? If you no want more pikins, Vasectomy your P***s and you no go get pikin. lef your wife alone my friend.

Anonymous said...

By my understanding there was an agreement and I want to believe both parties where in agreemen. Fine, but the guy should realise that he was part of the conception of the children and his wife could not have done it on her own, unless the child is not his and his wife decided to play away. He needs to man up and accept responsibility or remain in his current state of mind and give his wife the pants.

Anonymous said...

Plssssssss d guy is looking for an easy way out, is mind or heart is some where else, for her sake she didn't get herself permanent, And d women self na wetin u won born, pls women listen to ur husband.

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